I wish I had known this before ...

Pain vs. Suffering

Do you know the difference between pain and suffering?

To tell you the truth, up until last week, I thought they were the same thing ??

I was wrong.

Let me share what I have just learned...

In her book, "It's OK that You're Not OK", Megan Devine talks about the difference between Pain & Suffering.

When she explained it, it was like everything that I have been teaching about grief became SUPER crystal clear to me.

Only now, I have an even better framework to explain it.

PAIN = your emotions

SUFFERING = how your grief is expressed physically & mentally

You HAVE to feel your emotional pain to heal and move forward with your grief. ?

There is no getting around this.

But when your pain is so great, it can manifest in so many different ways as your body tries to make sense of your pain...and you suffer.

You suffer in ways like:

? not being able to sleep

? headaches & migraines

? depression & anxiety

? skin rashes

? uncontrollable sobbing in the grocery store parking lot

? stomach pain

? stress

? body aches

? outbursts of anger

? easily irritated

? lethargy

? lack of self care The list goes on and on and on...

?? TRUTH BOMB ??

You have to feel your emotional pain, but you are ALLOWED - even encouraged - to mitigate and reduce your suffering.

?? Read that again ??

You are not meant to suffer endlessly.

It is OK to decrease your suffering by putting things in place to support you - either "in the moment" or as an ongoing part of your day.

These supports allow you to focus on something other than your grief.

They can help stop the addictive and overwhelming emotional spiral downwards that grief can drag you into.

They can let you escape, if only for a moment.

And sometimes, a moment is all you need to bring yourself back from the edge of the abyss.

Reducing your suffering, may include things like:

?? going for a walk in nature

?? breathing

?? focusing on innate objects to distract you & detach from your emotions completely

(i.e., find 5 blue objects, 5 green objects, 5 yellow objects)

?? reading a trashy novel

?? bingeing Netflix

?? doing yoga

? going for coffee with a friend

?? cuddling with your dog

?? painting

?? gardening

?? taking a nap

There are SO many options to choose from!

Choosing the activities & support that work best for YOU is what is most important... so it may take some trial and error to figure it out ??.

(Psst...this is what I help you to figure out in my Grieving Blueprint online course ??)

*****

One thing to note (and I would be remiss if I did not address this)...

Sometimes, natural supplements or prescription medications may be a short-term support to help reduce your immediate suffering, as you move through your emotional pain.

If this is a choice you want to make or explore, please consult with your healthcare practitioner prior to starting anything.

*****

Reducing your suffering does not mean that your emotional pain disappears. ?

It means that you can take a pause, catch your breath, and find brief moments of peace and calm within the storm.

It gives you a moment to regroup, recharge, and re-energize for the next round.

Grief, in all its many forms, brings emotional pain.

Suffering comes along for the ride.

Reducing your suffering, while navigating your pain, is your key to moving forward.

One small step at a time.

I am here to help support you as you take those steps.

YOU are worth it!

M. xo

P.S. ?If you want support and a safe space to navigate your emotional pain and figure out how you can reduce your suffering, I am here to help. ?Book a short 15-minute call with me. Reach out via message or email.