"I want" VS "I need"

Difference between “I want” and “I need”

Famous golfer Arnold Palmer is famous for saying 90% of the game is psychological and 10% physical.

Think about your life as a game, because it is a game. Like in a game you have destination you win, you lose, you have challenges. And you choose how you are going to play your game if it is going to be fun or if it is going to be hard and frustrated.

Now there is big difference between “I need “and “I want”. Majority of people unconsciously approach everything in the energy “ I need” so, when you in need of something you feel separation from what you want, you perceive or believe that that thing that you want is not available to you. Need is scarcity mindset – you need something and at the same time because you are in need you fear of losing either it is your job, money, relationship.

This happens a lot in workplaces when people don’t express themselves, they don’t talk openly with their bosses because they are in need of job.

Now if you change your perception from NEED to WANT energy is very different.

For example, you have problems with your boss maybe he is underpaying you, or not acknowledging your hard work and you avoiding having conversation with your boss because you are in need of your job so you fear of what is going to happen, fear of rejection, fear of losing your job, list goes on.

Working with leaders I come across this very often. Just imagine situation if you are going to talk openly with your boss coming from energy I don’t need the job but I want the job, because I’m inspired by the job , I love my job and I want to make difference. Energy is very different because you are not scared of losing your job even if conversation doesn’t go your way. You know that you are worthy and if one door is closed another door even better door will open to you.

What happens your boss will feel your confidence “Need is creepy” like one of my coaches said it once. And your boss want you to be confident, your boss doesn’t need “ neediness!!” See this is psychological game ?? it is simple and works every time with all my clients.

Same in your relationship if you are needy all the time and waiting for your partner to fulfill your unmet needs more likely from your childhood, good to emphasize this is happening unconsciously, your partner after a while will withdrawal and you will feel resistance. If not delt with and ignored it will more likely lead to divorce or separation. This is very common trigger for divorce.

You are in relationship to amplify your experience, your partner is not here to fulfill all of your unmet needs! Remember the happiest people are those who are not scared to be alone because they never feel lonely even when they are alone ??

So remember doesn’t matter what you are trying to solve either it is conversation with your boss, partner, talk from the place of open heart “I want to” because I feel inspired, empowered by my vision, I’m worthy, I feel joy. So, I don’t need anything, but I want to have this experience because I’m worthy of it.

Number one reason why people struggle and don’t get what they want because at their core they are not feeling worthy. It is not enough to be positive thinker and think with your head that you are worthy you need to feel that you are worthy on deep subconscious level, in your central nervous system! Because your central nervous system is tonality of your voice, your bodily energy expression. Your energy which are the emotions attracts opportunity to you.

We are all interconnected on energetic level, and recent studies in Quantum physics are prove of that.

True power is willingness to tell the truth to feel what we feel, to drop our self-distractive programs to admit our ignorance pain and fear. No outside power can put fire in your empty belly anymore then we can be nourished by watching another person eat seven course meal.

You give your power away when you allow yourself to be influenced by outside opinions to the degree that you compromise your own values. Majority of people are not even consciously aware that they compromise their values because they did it for 40 years and it feels so normal, so familiar to compare yourself to others all the time, even your family members!!

In what arrears do you make decisions based on what others say, think or want rather than on your deepest feelings and beliefs?

You don’t need to prove anything to anyone you are already Enough as you are. Don’t define your self-worth through the eyes of others.

If you want bigger title, bigger house, more money, expensive car, expensive clothes ask yourself first is this your deepest desire, are they your values, is it really going to energize you , or you are comparting yourself to someone maybe even your family members!! You are competing with someone trying to prove yourself unconsciously still living emotionally as a child to your dad or mum?

Now a little bit about you and the power of your brain and mind.

All humans have a forebrain, which is the most advanced part of the brain. The forebrain is most developed, or enlarged it is 40% of your brain, as you go through the species and back in time, this percentage of the forebrain drops form 30% to 17% to 9% to 5% to 2%?and to 1%

This is what distinguishes us from animals and paradox is majority of people are not using this 40% because they don’t understand how to master their emotions!

Whenever you are living congruently with your highest values and your highest priorities, your blood, glucose, and oxygen go into your Forebrain.

However, when you are living by your lowest values or unconsciously by someone else’s values, during survival mode the blood glucose, and oxygen go into the subcortical part of the brain Amygdala “Fight or Flight” animalistic primitive response. Which is very important when danger is present like fires, tsunamis, someone tries to kill you. Which is not happening very often in our modern world.

If for example you think insecure thoughts in a matter of a second you will feel insecure, the moment you feel insecure your brain is monitoring your internal state and you feel more insecure thoughts, you activate primitive brain Amygdala Fight or Flight sympathetic nervous system throwing your brain and body out of homeostatic state. You heart is sending incoherent messages to your brain and when your brain is incoherent you are incoherent. Your perception is imbalanced.

You are trying to avoid something (and you don’t want to see that which you are trying to avoid has positive side like having open conversation with your boss or spouse, or children or that buying bigger house has negative side to it, ?) and you are trying to seek immediate gratification ( not wanting to see that what you are seeking has negative side). ?

When you become less responsive to environmental triggers you are also becoming more patient, loving and kind you have an open heart, and you believe that even when things don’t go your way everything is available to you.

Very often I seen on people’s list of values “Integrity” Majority of people don’t even know what it means they use the word because your work place requires integrity, because you need to put it on your CV to look good.

Integrity is wholeness. It is balancing your perception by becoming conscious of upsides to the downsides and downsides to upsides. When your perception is balanced you are more likely to feel love and gratitude for others. Love is synchronicity of all opposites!!

So, when you are judging someone where is the other side of that individual that you judge?

I teach that to my 11-year-old daughter when she perceives only one side of the situation, and it works like magic. I do it with my clients and everything in their life transforms. If my 11-year-old daughter can do it, you can do it to ??

What are your hard lines I will never…. I always…..? – this is one sided perception now find the opposite side to it ??

Everything has two sides and always will. When your perceptions are imbalanced you feel unworthy, you are fearful, ashamed, frustrated, angry, disappointed or maybe you are too proud of yourself and you exaggerate yourself.

If you live by your highest values in life you know what they are by your HEART you can easily set boundaries, you feel more love and gratitude you feel alive because you are not run by subconsciously?memorized emotional programs and expectations of others!

?If you want to be heard and listened to?, if you want to know how to move from “Fight or Flight” stress responses how to be aware of them, how to identify them and have tools to balance your perception ,if you want to create more time and space for yourself and your family , if you want to understand more your staff members , your spouse , your bosses book FREE call with me. I can guarantee you will walk with more clarity and certainty you have nothing to lose it is FREE 40-50min call ??

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