I want to play with Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal!

My day begins with tennis. Almost daily. Before you assume anything about the level of my tennis, let me admit that my game is basic but not bad.

Also, I captain one of the teams of Mylapore Club where I play. We take part each year in the Sanmar Inter-club League Tournament, a doubles tourney. There are different zones. I play in F. Three teams from each club play against teams from other clubs.

Note, the captain's role is anything but glamorous. I usually end up doing a lot of administrative and coordination work.

This year, I decided to take my role a bit seriously. Not because I wanted to but because the situation demanded. And in the process, I learned something about playing together and how to set expectations.

Tennis, especially, doubles format is very interesting. It is a social game and players usually prefer playing with a particular player. Some players are fine to pair with anyone, but most of us are very particular. The morale and game get affected by the partner’s game. While some partners are very accommodating, others can be very direct and curt.

Everybody wants to play with a partner who is the best of Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. The expectations are very high. This probably is true for all relationships. In my opinion, this holds for our expectations from spouse, child(ren), partners, and colleagues. And just like life, we often don’t get the desired perfect partner. And because I was facing issues, I gave the following sermons to my teammates and pleaded for their cooperation.

1.      Don’t change your partner right at the first go. Play for some time and give the relationship some time. We have to build it. Understand and complement each other.

2.      Don’t get discouraged or upset if the partner doesn’t match your expectations or makes a mistake. The partner might also have the same expectations and we may ourselves be falling short of it.

3.      Encourage even if the partner makes a mistake. It is difficult but negative outbursts can demotivate the other person. That has a direct impact on the game. Also, everyone makes mistakes.

What would be your guiding principles in handling your relationships? Please do share.

PS: Confession to my wife. Yes, I do get upset when you crash the car. I am trying to change that behavior. :)