I Want My Pancakes!

Whilst it wasn’t always this way, I hope that to those who know me today would agree that for the most part I am a pretty down to earth kind of guy. But despite the amount of work I have done on myself over the years, I too can at times still be guilty of letting my ego run the show. So, having just finished a 34-day tour and boarding more flights than I care to remember, the consequence of such a gruelling schedule inevitably took its toll on my emotional state.

For context, I have flown with a particular airline for many years – so much so that the crews know who I am personally. I’m one of their top 1000 frequent flier’s which provides me with a certain level of status. I am greeted with “Mr Lombardo, how wonderful to have you on board again” and swiftly taken to the best seats on the plane. To add, no one ever calls me ‘Mr Lombardo’, I always introduce myself to people as Franco. I truly am not one for titles and don’t believe that just because you have money you deserve preferential treatment, but last week I found myself being ‘one of those’ kinds of guys. You know the ones that NO ONE likes. ?

My status with the airline means that I am generally one of the first passengers to be served their food, but on a recent flight it quickly became apparent that I was not considered a priority. I quietly approached the air stewardess and said, “Forgive me, I am pretty tired after travelling non-stop, and I really don’t want to be ‘that guy’ but I’d appreciate it if you could you tell me how you decide who gets their meals first?” She told me that it was determined based purely on a so-called status list. Now, the airline only has two breakfast options – a parsley omelette and pancakes. The omelette isn’t too bad, but the pancakes are excellent and on this particular morning they were calling out my name. So, when the air hostess informed me that there weren’t any left, I felt aggrieved and politely reminded her that having put in millions of miles with Air Canada, I felt justified in having my pancake request honoured. I know, I know, I can only imagine what you must be thinking right now, “Franco, you total asshole.” And I wouldn’t blame you if you did, but I wanted to share this story as it reminded me of the dichotomy faced by many of the families I work.

Being well-known or having some sort of platform is often perceived as desirable, but the reality is it also comes with a hefty price tag – the loss of your privacy, continuous judgement and endless scrutiny. You are left wondering if people only want to know you because of your wealth, power or status, not for who you are as an individual. The wealth generated by some of my clients automatically catapults them into an elevated status and raises their profile whereby they are no longer able to remain under the radar. This naturally means that they are able to enjoy the kind of luxuries that others can only dream of. Whilst some family members enjoy the subsequent ‘fame’, others feel uncomfortable and want to remain anonymous and enjoy a ‘normal’ life.

My own personal experience, combined with the countless conversations I have with clients, confirms that wealth really is just a magnifier of who you already are and reinforces the personality traits that already exist within you. At my core, I like to consider myself as a gracious and humble person who treats everyone I meet purely on face-value regardless of their status, but occasionally I catch myself slipping back into old behaviours allowing my ego to take centre stage.

I shared the pancake story not only as a reminder to myself to never become ‘that guy’ but because (although on a much smaller level and as I explained above) it also illustrates the contradiction faced by my clients. So, is it possible to have it both ways? The answer is not black and white – humans will always want to be known and seen by others, but the key is to not seek the external validation that wealth, status or fame generates, but instead focus on developing your own individual self-worth.

Remember, if you do find yourself in a position of authority, recognition or influence, don’t become so attached to the status that it offers you. Be thankful that people see what you do, let it go and never forget to remain humble. No one wants to deal with an egomaniac. It’s demands attention and at some point, it’s going to get in your way. Ego and pride can turn us into ugly little beasts – or in my case an ‘asshole’ who insist on having their pancakes!

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