I Want To Leave My Husband (How To Decide If I Want To Leave My Husband)

I want to leave my husband - How to decide if I want to leave my husband.?

Not all marriages work and not all marriages can or should be saved. But do you want a divorce because your don't think that your marriage is worth saving? You have to be sure that you're doing the best thing and that you know all the effects of a marriage break up.

If your partner was unfaithful it's very hard to forgive and forget especially if it's happened more than once. It's not unreasonable to want a divorce if your spouse is guilty of a crime and has been sent to jail.

These are serious issues but even these difficulties can be resolved. You can save your marriage if you both want to work it out. After all, you once loved your spouse.

What The Point In Trying To Fix Marriage Problems?

If you separate and get married again some day, will it be even worse than the first time? Also, it's quite hard going back into the dating game especially if you're older and there are children involved.

Separation and divorce leads to a great loss. You can lose time with your kids and also with your family and friends. Friends usually tend to choose you or your spouse so it's probable that you'll lose some friends entirely. Money and your property will be lost when the separation agreement divides everything in two.

Without trying to save your marriage, all the good times you remember about your marriage will become only a memory. You may also lose your self esteem. It's not only you that will suffer loss. Other people lose too when their family and friends get divorced.

Maybe you should try to improve and save your marriage. At the very least, determine if you're thinking about a divorce for the correct reasons. A lot of married couples look for a divorce because one or other is too demanding. For example, one could want more sex and attention than the other and you're weary of giving in. Today, one out of five marriages have no intimacy. This is significant but not a problem that cannot be solved.

Save Your Marriage From Divorce.

In some cases, husbands or wives may pay little attention in how they look or conduct themselves to the point that neither of them are attractive to each other anymore. They would prefer to get away from their partner than do something about it. It's easy to let your weight increase and forget about your health. To start making an attempt to save your marriage you could begin an exercise class with each other, get dressed smartly once a week and go on a date with your partner.

Money can always be a problem. If one persons spends too much money, sometimes in secret, they don't want their partner to know. Divorce seems to be the simplest way out. Take a moment and communicate. Fix your money issues together. With improved spending habits, you'll save your marriage and more besides.

After taking everything into consideration, if you come to a decision that you want a divorce for all the right reasons, then do it. However, you can save your marriage if the reasons can be settled with a little love and determination.

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What Am I Missing In My Marriage?

"We never fight," she tells me. "He treats me well, and is fair about finances. But I've long overstayed this marriage's welcome, and I want out."

I heard it from Maura, married to Maurice for 25 years, and waiting with bated breath for her youngest child to go away to school until she could leave.

Her circumstances may sound unusual, but they're not at all.

Dr. Paul Amato, sociologist at Penn State University, has researched divorce, as well as its impact on children. Here's a statistic from him that I find staggering: Around 55-60 percent of divorces occur in low-conflict marriages.

Dr. Amato calls these marriages "good enough" marriages, with the distinct implication that these relationships could be salvaged. So why would someone in a low-conflict marriage like this divorce? What unique problems do such partners that make their marriages seem untenable to them anymore?

There are, of course, a multiplicity of reasons that people leave marriages that seem 'good enough.' One interesting piece of research that might address this issue deals with relationships and self-building--and, to my delight, my son. Briefly, Eli (that's Dr. Finkel, of Northwestern University's psychology department) worked with his thesis advisor, Caryl Rusbolt on an international review of papers on the "Michelangelo Phenomenon."

Michelangelo said, famously, "Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it." So social psychologists took that idea and ran with it. A strong partner will see our ideal selves in the raw material that is our current presentation, and, by that partner's reaction to what s/he sees inside, encourage us to believe in and create that reality of our own best selves.

And here's perhaps where low-conflict marriages like Maura's may grind to a screeching halt. The Michelangelo Phenomenon is not about supporting your partner, or treating him/her well. As Eli said in his interview with Northwestern University NewsCenter, "Even if partners treat us in perfectly loving, supportive ways, if the treatment is not consistent with the person we dream of becoming, we have to pay attention to those red flags," Finkel warned. "Is that the person you want to be married to 10 years down the road?"

So love and support simply aren't enough, this research tells us. Rather our spouse needs to be actively working with us to sculpt our idealized selves. And this may be a rather tricky row to hoe, since these dreams we have of our selves may not always jive with our spouses' senses of who we truly are. It seems it takes a personality artist to see what's hidden inside us-and not every one of us married someone of the timber of Michelangelo.

But even with that research firmly established and its premise gaining ground, let's ask a final question of those in low-conflict marriages. Even if they aren't being properly sculpted by their partner to be 'all that they can be,' are they right to divorce, given the hardships they--and their children--will face as divorced entities? I can't answer the question for any given individual, but I do believe there are valid opinions on both sides.

You may just feel you need to marry a sculptor-and feel your idealized self is shriveling inside your exterior of stone with your current spouse-and that may be what's missing inside your seemingly pleasant-enough marriage.

It's all up to you! If you don't take this action to save your marriage, then who will?

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Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.