I want to have a voice, not just be an echo, how these words crumbled my foundation.

Be a Voice, not an Echo

Stunned and overwhelmed as I contemplated the words I had just spoken out loud “I want to have a voice, not just be an echo”.

How these words would crumble my foundation, allowing me to build a new and true version of myself.

This is the Second Truth “Be a Voice, Not an Echo” I learned in my 20 years in business. (Click here to read the others.)

Let’s explore this some more, shall we?

Reflection of my Echo

Surprise, it started in my childhood. At eight years old, I was diagnosed with ADHD; yep, I was that child who couldn't stand still and who didn’t process emotions well. You know, the kid you can’t believe the parents don’t control in public. Yes, the diagnosis was real, and back in the 80s, we didn’t know how to explain it to teachers and peers like we do today. I took it on like something was wrong with me and that how I was was not right. So I started trying to mimic other behaviors, expressing others' thoughts and ideas and never truly understanding my own thoughts and believing I had a right to them. Safety was in the echo.

This is where the echo started…

Now let’s talk about when it was discovered…

30 years later I created my world/ my business / my life around my husband Avery. But no longer…an accident had taken that away…he was broken, left with a cascading flow of pain, anger and depression. I cared for him…took on everything…and eventually, everything broke.

As I cried in my office avoiding the world around me…I realized I was part of the problem. I had lived so long being an echo that I was not my own anchor. When Avery crumbled, so did I. I wanted more…I wanted a voice…I wanted to step out of the safe shadows and be seen. I dove into clarity to discover who I was and what I wanted for myself.

Clarity of Storytelling

I gained so much clarity by following the threads back to that 8-year-old me and the story I told and believed about myself. As I started to discover more, another story and realization of empowerment came to the surface. A story about a hammer—yep, a simple farm story I was sharing with my coach just for fun—gave me such clarity about myself that I found myself crying again, and I am not much of a crier.

Below is the well-crafted story I used today. Please watch the video, and I will share my clarifying insights and how this story was created.

My coach, Fireman Rob Robert Verhelst , and I discussed many little stories, but this one wasn’t. One, I thought the event did not have any importance.

It wasn’t until Rob excitedly said, "Wait, wait, wait, stop, tell me about your hammer and the miscommunication with your dad". As we crafted the story of the hammer, by the way, it is a true story that happened over and over during my childhood, and I discovered a truth about myself.

From a Humble Hammer to Storytelling Superpower

It was when I talked about the solution I found to overcome my father’s miscommunication that I realized I still use that skill to this day. It is so ingrained in my life that it has become my superpower.

I can see past what people are saying and get to what is not said, which is even more important. It was helpful in marketing and even more supportive as a business owner and coach. It has guided me into being curious…successful…and personable.

Who would've thought that discovering a silly story about childhood would lead me to discover the birth of my superpower and my origin story? This led me down the path of the impact it had unintentionally on my career. All because of a language barrier, and how I had overcome that challenge, and my hammer story was born.

What the Hammer Story Shares

I now have a tool that I always have with me. I can use it to showcase my problem-solving skills, curiosity, and ability to see things differently and understand there is more to this story.

It’s when I learned the difference between telling and sharing.

This point can be made as follows: "I am a good problem solver who understands what you need to take your idea and turn it into a viable concept, product, or service.”

While sharing the point is…”My Hammer Story…” (If you haven’t watched the video yet, all this will become clearer once you do. Why video? Because I’m a better verbal communicator.)

Then it became part of my life as a coach when people tell me "Hey I have this problem and this is what's going on.

I answer, "Hmm, is that the problem, or is it something else? Let's dive into it!" It might actually be that hammer that is the problem, but it is something else.

I had to start anticipating what others weren't saying; sometimes, they didn't even know it themselves, and it became part of my life.

To help bring these concepts into your story, read my blog post, Four Foundations to Craft Your Story into Something Powerful and Memorable, to help make your stories more powerful and memorable.

Please find a time this week to spend an hour crafting your story. This process can give you insight into yourself and others, making you engaging and memorable.

Contact me if you want to share but don’t know how to express it. I discover my stories by talking with others and I would love to be that person for you.

Wishing you clarity, courage and confidence this month.

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