I Want The Confidence of a Kenyan Cow

I know confident people.

From school, outside it, and at work.

Confidence exudes from their pores when they are around. These people can sell salt to a slug.

In spite of it all, I would rather bank on the nonchalance and confidence of a Kenyan cow.

I don’t know about other cows. I know the ones I am used to. And they don’t care if it’s the president and his motorcade or a brand-new car. With the low-set eyes of a stoned celebrity, they’ll continue to chew cud, unfazed, crossing the road at their own pace.

When I get to that level of confidence when everyone around me is freaking out, do tell me.

Please.