I used to "suck at this". Now I don't

The year was 2017, I had moved to Australia and found myself in a cycle of setbacks and rejections when I started to apply for jobs. It seemed like each interview I attended ended with the same disappointing outcome. Frustration and self-doubt started to creep in, and a relentless recording played in my mind: "I suck at this."

Every rejection triggered a cascade of negative thoughts. I told myself I was rejected because

I hadn't prepared enough (I suck at this)

I lacked relevant experience (I suck at this)

My accent was terrible (I suck at this)

My communication was not up to the mark (I suck at this)

— the list went on. It was as if I had created a record titled "I suck at this," which replayed relentlessly, ready to amplify my fear of future rejections.

The record became a constant background noise, impacting my motivation and my drive.

Anticipating rejection, I started to avoid making applications, started to procrastinate, started making excuses and just became lazy.

The fear of rejection held me captive, and I felt stuck. My confidence was at an all-time low. I no longer believed in my capability to land a job.

Naturally that meant no progress. I was unemployed and wasting my time. The fear kept growing and the record kept playing. I was trapped in a vicious cycle.

But as time went on, the pain of being trapped in my fear grew stronger. It reached a tipping point where the pain of staying the same became greater than the pain of facing my fear head-on. I realized that if I wanted to break free, I had to take action.

Scratching the record and silencing its negative tune was not an easy task. It required hard work and determination. At first, I procrastinated, hesitant to confront my fear. But eventually, I mustered the courage to put my fear of rejection into perspective. I sought help, I engaged with a career coach to help me.

It was a life changing experience.

With each step forward, I discovered that my fear was not an unconquerable monster. It diminished in size and lost its power over me. I finally was able to land a job at Telstra after being un-employed for over two years. Over time, I regained my confidence and my belief in myself.

Now, whenever faced with a setback, I consciously choose not to create another "I suck at this" record. Instead, I cultivate a new mindset. I have a different record, one that affirms, "It is okay to be rejected; it doesn't define me. I will keep going." This uplifting mantra plays on repeat, reminding me to persevere, learn from experiences, and continue my journey.

And so, I celebrate the transformation. I no longer let setbacks define me or hold me back. The fear of rejection has been tamed, and I embrace the joy of taking risks and pushing my boundaries. It's a testament to the power of challenging our fears and reclaiming control over our lives.

In the end, the pain of staying stuck was the catalyst for change. And now, as I listen to my new record of resilience and perseverance, I know that I am capable of facing any obstacle without letting my fears get in the way. I feel truly empowered and proud of myself for doing the work and breaking free of my fears.

I now love coaching others how this is done. I have found my purpose.