"I Unleash my Sunflower"??- A Deep Dive Experience | Reflection | Positive Affirmation

Life beckons when someone takes the courage to find your smile in the pitch dark and make it memorable!?However, what if there is nobody who fills in that place of “someone”? And even if there is that someone and might be that we are blessed with an encouraging tribe. Nevertheless, personal relationships gone sour can make us feel alone, small, and defeated. How do we then plan to fight back on our deep-rooted cuts that run through our spirit?

We owe ourselves to go on that soul-searching journey delving within us in search of our lost smile and our doomed happiness.

?Experience

Just thought of sharing this difficult personal experience here.

Over the past few months, I have been having a strained, toxic & dysfunctional relationship with someone in my life. And no matter how hard I tried, more cracks emerged. Somehow, we seemed to have crossed the sea of mending very long back without each other’s knowledge.

The gaslighting, cruelty, and insensitive tension just kept growing beyond the boundaries of peculiarity. And I have been completely thrown out of gear. Collecting myself with the help of “someone” and a beautiful supportive tribe, I planned to pen down my experiences.

After a while, it read as below -

If you have someone around, who has been trying to:

1.??????put you down.

2.??????show insensitivity.

3.??????make fun of how you think, feel, and act.

4.??????give you glares.

5.??????use a taunting tone.

6.??????raise their voice deliberately.

7.??????self-praise themselves.

8.??????trigger unusual anger or irritation.

9.??????move around ignoring you.

10.??shrug at you.

11.??grinding their teeth.

12.??be stiff and rigid.

13.??completely do not understand you.

14.??twisting their face.

15.??get to make you feel invisible.

16.??take you on constant guilt trips

17.??straightaway pounce on you with rage.

18.??throw things out of annoyance.

19.??keep grumbling at every chance they get.

20.??build fear, terror, and grudge.

I continued writing........

Understand that there is nothing wrong with you!

That someone maybe is:

1.??????An acute case of exclusive, closed, and toxic personality.

2.??????Simply superior, arrogant, mean, and selfish.

3.??????Is a perfectionist beyond the realms of sanity.

4.??????There are high chances that they have a borderline anxiety disorder (Considering the understanding I am still trying to process).

5.??????Stuck in a complex, and/or unreal perception of change and the surprises life brings.

6.??????Mismatched and low on relationship quotient - They are in complete denial of your role in the cycle of human connection you share with them and your circle of influence.

7.??????A scattered mind due to overthinking and unbearable responsibilities.

8.??????Unregulated emotions & invalidated love.

9.??????Lost touch with their own thought, feelings, and action process flow.

10.??Weaking of brain nerve cells with aging.?

Reflection

In the first four points, I burst open my bolder of disappointment, anger, damaged ego, and self-respect.

In the fifth point, my insight took over.

In the sixth point, my empathy emerged.

In the seventh point, my kindness kindled.

In the eighth point, my inner power of listening woke up.

In the ninth point, my perseverance popped.

In the tenth point, my compassion compelled me.

I stopped writing and said to myself, let us relook at this “Experience of Idiosyncrasies” from the lens of these awareness tools – insight, empathy, kindness, listening, perseverance, and compassion.

Currently, I am manifesting the “Power of Integrity” to bring all these awareness tools to my rescue. And at the same time, I am telling myself to be gentle with myself. The behaviour is wrong! But also, the behaviour might be misread and has erupted through layers of locked expressions. The Behaviour is their's and has nothing to do with your ideologies.

Considering the example of “The Iceberg Illusion of Behaviour”. Anybody’s behaviour is just the tip of the iceberg. That is what we experience as a conscious - seen and felt action. However, it is yet quite superficial, and we need to scratch it. And then go below the surface to understand the subconscious and unconscious aspects behind that behaviour. The true motives, beliefs, assumptions, and values systems are found born and bare there.?

Positive Affirmation

However, I knew that before I start walking further to decode this experience. I need to remind myself that I am here to:

-?????????Deeply respect my time and aura.

-?????????Be surrounded with positive mind frame and

-?????????Not let external obnoxious behaviour shatter me.?

I Unleash my Sunflower ??

Flowers have infinite sensory effects. And I have always found refuge in their healing energy of sunflowers, my favourite.

I said loud and clear “I Unleash my Sunflower" ??

Sunflowers turn towards the highest source of energy, ' The Sun ', to derive strength to grow and flourish. Every single one of them blooms parallel to each other and stay unified in purpose. They spread happiness, positivity, admiration, self-love, and grit.

Life helps one derive energy from positive sources in nature & pushes human abilities to ultimately bloom.

And I plan to bloom with all the learnings and future experiences that will come my way in managing these anathemas of radical and toxic encounters.?