As I turn 60...

Let me start with a big one; one that caught me out when I was a younger man. Work friends are NOT your real friends. Now I know there are exceptions. Hell, I am married to a former colleague. But, in the main, work friends are not your real friends. They may appear friendly during work hours; some may even be able to sustain the illusion out of hours. But most would stab you in the back in an instant if there was something in it for them.

Speaking of friends. Choose the real ones wisely and then treasure them. True friends are invaluable; a rare and precious gift. And, all too often, you only realise that when they’re gone.

Don’t value things. People get caught up in the price of a fancy house, or a fancy car, or a fancy watch. Those are just stuff. The most valuable things in life — at least in my experience — are loyalty and integrity. Their value is beyond measure because they cannot be bought; they must be earned and constantly nurtured.

The person that said “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” was lying to you. Keep your friends close? Absolutely. But, if you have enemies, cut them out of your life. Don’t allow their presence and their toxicity to impact upon you. I learned this late; too late. But the feeling of letting go of toxic people is like being cured of a debilitating disease. Cut them out like a cancer and live your life.

Family is everything. I have had some low points in my life. Some friends were there for me, and some weren’t. But my family was (and is) ever-present and ever-supportive.

Life is not fair. I know they don’t tell you that. But it’s not. It never was. That’s why good people die young, and why deeply unpleasant people survive and succeed. They say “good guys finish last”. If I cross the line last with my integrity intact, I am OK with that.

If you have to make a choice between work and family, choose family. Regardless of the circumstances, choose family.

Sometimes, there is no next time. There is no “one last fishing trip” with your dad. No last pint with your best friend. One day, you will have played football with your school friends for the final time. One day, you will have hugged your mum for the last time. A day will come when your children get too big to pick up and hug. And the worst thing is, you don’t know when that last time IS the last time.

Judge people not by how they behave in public; judge them by how they behave when no-one is looking. If someone tells you about their charitable efforts, they are not doing it for charitable and altruistic reasons. They are doing it for personal gain and aggrandisement.

Fire, drowning, shark attack and plane crashes all sound scary but they are also — thankfully — highly unlikely. It turns out, my greatest fear is loneliness. And that can get you at anytime.

This is a contentious one; and I realise that it flies in the face of modern, woke thinking. But praise is not a perversion. If you see a beautiful woman, tell her for no other reason than to make her feel good about herself. If you see a well-dressed man or a well-behaved child, praise them. It will make their day. If you see a work colleague doing a good job, let them know that you see them. Oh, and I have stolen this one but I think it’s worth mentioning. If you see a grown man hugging a child, don’t immediately assume he’s pedophile. Some people are just nice.

In the main, dogs are way better than people.

This is a lesson I learned the hard way. Look after your health. Get yourself checked on a regular basis; get your GP to give you a thorough MOT from time to time. Don’t ignore ailments, and don’t try to tough it through excruciating pain. Pain is nature’s way of telling you that something is wrong. Do not ignore nature.

If you have to make a choice between work and family, choose family. Regardless of the circumstances, choose family. Work will still be there when you get back. If it’s not, it was a shitty job, and you can get another one. But you only get one shot with family.

Get a hobby. That’s it. That’s the advice. Life is too short to just work, eat and sleep. Find something else that gives you pleasure or peace or contentment and do that. Do that a lot.

Take a moment. I have been fortunate enough to travel the world for work. But the majority of my recollections are of airports, hotels and factories. Take a moment to savour where you are and who you’re with. Have that extra cup of coffee. Have that glass of wine. Eat what the locals are eating. Introduce yourself to strangers. We sadly live in a divided world. It would be far less divided if we just took a moment to speak to each other.

Perhaps the greatest wisdom I can impart is this. Time is not your friend. It is not on your side, regardless of what Mick Jagger says. It passes by at such a speed that it doesn’t appear to be moving. But it is. One day you are dropping your daughter at the gates for her first day at school; the next, she has children of her own. One day, you’re fishing with your dad; the next, you are fishing alone. One day, you realise that you are never going to read all the great books, see all the great movies or listen to all the best music. One day, you will wake up and realise that you now have more life behind you than you do in front of you.

Use your time wisely.