I thought I might fall through the hole of the car and die

My parents always lived within their means. They constantly worried about money, always finding ways to save more. Even though they were frugal, my dad always had a stack of envelopes stuffed with $5 bills for charities that asked for financial support. No matter how much lack they felt, there was always money for the church and for those who were helping the poor or sick.

My parents never had a "nice" car when we were all kids. I would be riding around in his old, beat up, rusty Volkswagen Beetle with my sister and a few other siblings in the back seat. NPR would be playing on the radio. The backseat car floor (on the driver's side) had a hole big enough to slip an entire body through it, and I remember staring at the pavement of the highway as dad buzzed across it. It fascinated me that if I slipped my one petite, slender leg into that hole, I was a dead woman. I know that is so morbid, right?!?! I remember staring at the paint lines that separated the lanes and how we were going so fast that the dotted lines merged together as one so easily and effortlessly. I have no idea how we never ended up falling through.

Do you have those moments, whether it was the recent or not, where your safety was at risk but that was the last thing you even thought about? I wonder sometimes why I wasn't scared then ... how I wasn't scared of falling through that hole and dying but I am scared of things like doing a live video on social media...but dying a horrible death by a hole in my dad's car? Eh that's nothin'.

It makes me think about how irrational my current fears are.

I fear that I will die and regret never going 100% in on me.

I fear that I will never have enough time with my children and my family.

I fear that people will see me for who I really am and say horrible things to me.

I fear that I will completely fail.

I fear that my dreams will never become my reality.

I fear that I will run my family dry investing in my business.

I fear moving back in with my parents!

I fear them saying "I told you so." Yuck.

And the thing is, the worst fear I have is dying, but none of the above fears are even close to actually causing my death. So if those fears aren't going to kill me, then are the even real? Why am I scared of everything on that list? It's all ego. It's all irrational fears. It's all fed by my desire to please, to be seen, to be externally validated. It's my desire to feel worthy, deserving and loved.

The thing is, I know you've felt this way too. I know you can relate to at least one of these things or something similar. I want you to know that you are not alone and that makes it a little bit better to remember that we are all human.

My point is, the things we think are just thoughts, and thoughts can be changed. It's like a habit that became your truth. So if you learned to think this way, and it became a belief, you can UNLEARN IT TOO! We do this at my retreats! There is a lot of clearing, healing and resetting that is done before you begin to create new thoughts, beliefs and habits.

What thoughts do you need to unlearn that aren't serving you and the way you show up in the world, ? Let me know by commenting below. I'd love to hear from you!

Theresa

Theresa Nguyen, RN MSN

Sound & Energy Therapist, Mindfulness Speaker

www.theresanguyenspeaks.com