I Thought I Could Do It All… Until I Couldn’t

I used to think that if I just worked hard enough, I could juggle everything, career, family, friendships, all the commitments, and make it look easy. I thought balance was something I could muscle through if I pushed myself hard enough. But I’ve learned (the hard way) that this mindset is a fast track to burnout.

For a long time, I kept thinking, “I’ll take care of myself later.” You probably know how it goes: just finish this project, just get through this week, just make it through the next thing, then I’ll take a break. But “later” kept getting pushed further and further away, until one day I hit a wall.

It wasn’t pretty. The stress, exhaustion, and mental load of trying to be everything to everyone caught up to me. I realized I’d been neglecting the one person I should’ve been taking care of all along: me.

A Hard-Learned Lesson: You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup

My turning point came when I decided to put my son in daycare. Up until that point, I’d been convinced that I had to handle everything myself... to be a great mom, a great leader, and a great partner. But when I finally gave myself permission to step back, breathe, and reflect, I realized how depleted I really was. It wasn’t about “getting a break,” it was about regaining a sense of who I was.

I used to think needing time for myself made me selfish. Then someone on my team said, “You always tell us to take care of ourselves, but we don’t see you doing the same. Have you gotten those bloods done or that scan you needed to?” That was a gut-punch moment for me. I had to face the fact that I was leading by example, but in all the wrong ways. If I wasn’t taking care of myself, how could I expect others to do the same? What a hypocrite.

Since then, I’ve tried to shift my mindset, but it’s still a work in progress. That’s what I want to share with you, because I know I’m not alone in this. We all know we should prioritize ourselves, but knowing and doing are two very different things.

So, Here’s What’s Actually Helped Me:

1. Small Moments of Self-Care Forget the long weekends away or spa days (although those are great too!). I’ve learned that it’s the small, consistent moments that really make a difference. I’m talking about 10 minutes of journaling before bed, a short walk during lunch, or just stepping outside for a breath of fresh air between meetings. These small moments add up, and they’re what is helping me recharge in the chaos.
2. The Power of ‘No’ This is a big one, and I’m still learning how to do it. Saying “no” isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. Whether it’s declining an extra work project or stepping back from social obligations, setting boundaries has been a game-changer for my mental health. And guess what? The world hasn’t collapsed because I said “no.” In fact, it’s helped me show up more fully where it matters most.
3. Outsource Without Guilt I used to feel guilty about asking for help. Whether it was hiring a cleaner or putting my child in daycare, it felt like I was failing if I couldn’t do it all myself. But the truth is ... you don’t have to do it all. Asking for help or outsourcing certain tasks (if you can) doesn’t make you less capable... it makes you smart. It allows you to focus on what truly needs your attention.
4. Digital Detox This one’s tough, but taking breaks from social media and work emails has made a HUGE difference in my ability to stay present. I used to be the person who checked my phone first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Now, I’ve started setting boundaries for screen time. Turning off notifications and putting my phone away when I’m spending time with family. It’s helped me feel more in control and less overwhelmed.
5. The Permission to Be Imperfect This is the hardest lesson for me to embrace, but it’s been the most freeing. I’m learning to let go of the unrealistic expectations I’ve placed on myself. I don’t have to be the perfect mum, employee, or friend every single day. Some days, I’ll drop the ball, and that’s okay. The real growth happens when I give myself grace and keep moving forward.

Why Is This So Hard for Us?

Here’s what I want to know: why is it so hard for us to give ourselves permission to rest? To say no? To ask for help? I’m still figuring this out, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. What has worked for you? What are your challenges?

We often feel like we’re in this alone, but the truth is, we’re all navigating this together. And I think we need to start talking about it more, about the times when we’re not okay, the days when we’re overwhelmed, and how we can actually take care of ourselves in the midst of it all.

My Key Takeaway? Balance Is a Practice, Not a Destination

Here’s what I’ve learned: Balance isn’t something you achieve once and then keep forever. It’s a daily practice, a series of choices we make again and again. Some days I get it right, and some days I don’t. But the point is, I’m working on it. And so can you.

You can do hard things, but you don’t have to do everything. Start with small, manageable steps. Ask for help. Say no when you need to. And most importantly, give yourself permission to not have it all together every moment of every day.

So let’s share. What are your tips for creating balance as a working parent or professional? What’s been your biggest struggle, and how are you navigating it? Thanks for listening (and reading). xx