I Thought I Could Do It All… Until I Couldn’t
I used to think that if I just worked hard enough, I could juggle everything, career, family, friendships, all the commitments, and make it look easy. I thought balance was something I could muscle through if I pushed myself hard enough. But I’ve learned (the hard way) that this mindset is a fast track to burnout.
For a long time, I kept thinking, “I’ll take care of myself later.” You probably know how it goes: just finish this project, just get through this week, just make it through the next thing, then I’ll take a break. But “later” kept getting pushed further and further away, until one day I hit a wall.
It wasn’t pretty. The stress, exhaustion, and mental load of trying to be everything to everyone caught up to me. I realized I’d been neglecting the one person I should’ve been taking care of all along: me.
A Hard-Learned Lesson: You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup
My turning point came when I decided to put my son in daycare. Up until that point, I’d been convinced that I had to handle everything myself... to be a great mom, a great leader, and a great partner. But when I finally gave myself permission to step back, breathe, and reflect, I realized how depleted I really was. It wasn’t about “getting a break,” it was about regaining a sense of who I was.
I used to think needing time for myself made me selfish. Then someone on my team said, “You always tell us to take care of ourselves, but we don’t see you doing the same. Have you gotten those bloods done or that scan you needed to?” That was a gut-punch moment for me. I had to face the fact that I was leading by example, but in all the wrong ways. If I wasn’t taking care of myself, how could I expect others to do the same? What a hypocrite.
Since then, I’ve tried to shift my mindset, but it’s still a work in progress. That’s what I want to share with you, because I know I’m not alone in this. We all know we should prioritize ourselves, but knowing and doing are two very different things.
So, Here’s What’s Actually Helped Me:
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Why Is This So Hard for Us?
Here’s what I want to know: why is it so hard for us to give ourselves permission to rest? To say no? To ask for help? I’m still figuring this out, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. What has worked for you? What are your challenges?
We often feel like we’re in this alone, but the truth is, we’re all navigating this together. And I think we need to start talking about it more, about the times when we’re not okay, the days when we’re overwhelmed, and how we can actually take care of ourselves in the midst of it all.
My Key Takeaway? Balance Is a Practice, Not a Destination
Here’s what I’ve learned: Balance isn’t something you achieve once and then keep forever. It’s a daily practice, a series of choices we make again and again. Some days I get it right, and some days I don’t. But the point is, I’m working on it. And so can you.
You can do hard things, but you don’t have to do everything. Start with small, manageable steps. Ask for help. Say no when you need to. And most importantly, give yourself permission to not have it all together every moment of every day.
So let’s share. What are your tips for creating balance as a working parent or professional? What’s been your biggest struggle, and how are you navigating it? Thanks for listening (and reading). xx
Director, Podcast Host, Coach & Facilitator
5 个月Taking time out isn’t just nice to do, it's a necessity. Never saying no, always taking on more things, we screw our operating system. Instead of good sleep, filing things for long term memory, we get disturbed sleep, exacerbating the problems. Taking, ‘under the tree time’, just being, letting my mind wander, not focused on anything but maybe my breathing, manages stress, and ensures there’s not too much for the brain to do that night, before we overload it again the next day. Brain fog and short term memory loss ensues, and we now spiral into a deep whirlpool of shit, seemingly impossible to get out of. We see everything as negative, so it's not light at the end of the tunnel we see, but some bastard with a torch bringing more work!? The five steps you’ve identified a fantastic tools for breaking that pattern, to get us out of such a situation and keep us out! Last point…I don’t completely agree that we are all in the same position. Those who are less about ‘the self’ and are more emotionally intelligent, like you Erika, are the ones who tend to end up feeling this way. Those who rarely consider others, ironically, don’t have this problem, or certainly not to the same extent!!?
Graduate | Media Design student
5 个月I love this Erika! Reading all the thoughts as a mother and a leader means so much, even very relatable at my age ??
Director, Podcast Host, Coach & Facilitator
5 个月Great post Erika! I will make comment on this, a little later, as i only had the five minutes it took to read it, and I don’t want you thinking I’m ignoring your request for comments, thoughts etc ??