I think I'm an alcoholic: so, um, what the heck do I do now?

If there is one thing I can tell you after years immersed in the rural discussion on addiction to booze, it’s this: if you are struggling with an addiction to alcohol, you aren't alone. Not by a very long shot.

(Please see previous note published on my 'Sober in the Country' health page ... https://www.facebook.com/shannakwhan/ on ‘’how do I know if it’s a problem’’ for more on that.)

Go hit your local pub on a Friday night and see who’s getting blackout drunk again, and again, and again, and again. There’s a clue of what ‘functioning’ alcoholism can look like.

If you are one of the rare few who has realised you’re addicted to alcohol, then well done you. You have made a life-changing decision that only ends in good news if you’re prepared to do whatever it takes to get your health back and to stop kidding yourself it’s all good.

It means you’ve finally begun to realise and recognise some of the devastating consequences from your drinking. The effects of alcoholism can be destructive to family relationships, finances, and it’s humiliating and terribly harmful to your health.

But remember: this insidious disease is everywhere in rural and regional Australia - and it goes ‘under cover’ and doesn’t even necessarily mean you’re a bad person, a homeless person, or a day-time drunk. I have covered this numerous times. It means you are simply a sick person. If you are truly an alcoholic, it means that once you start drinking, you have little control over how much you drink, or that when you want to stop, you find it difficult to do so.

(For me, I started as a party girl who drank for courage, and I ended up as an ‘after-five’ wine o’clock girl .... I drank until I blacked out. That was the routine.)

(Some people - not many - can stop and go back to alcohol in moderation. BUT - remember - if you have tried and failed repeatedly at doing this, chances are you’re in the category of people like me who can not ever drink.)

Most professionals agree that recovery from alcoholism can only be achieved by total abstinence. And believe me - I understand that the idea of never drinking again in this booze-focused nation of ours can seem like a ridiculous, impossible, even terrifying notion, but be encouraged. It happens.

One of the reasons I personally invested so heavily in holistic health and went on to study it, is because it’s the truth that alcoholism is a disease of the mind, body and spirit. Removing alcohol makes room for tremendous, holistic healing that can bring you a peace you never thought possible. Especially if you combine it with an overall health management strategy.

So, what next?

First: Evaluate your willingness to stop

Evaluating your relationship with alcohol is the first step toward finding the solution to your problem. Make a list of the ways that your drinking has interfered with your family and your personal goals. Be ruthlessly honest and willing to be honest about how little control you have had, and take a hard look at the ramifications of the disease in your life. When you take a no-holds-barred and properly open-minded approach to how alcoholism has affected you and those you love, you will know if you are truly ready (no tall tales or soft options left) to do the work it takes to leave the drink in your past.

Get support!!

Here’s the thing. Alcoholics cannot get sober alone. We need help and support. Just like a mate who is diagnosed with cancer or illness needs us to rally around and cook a feed and help with the kids, or whatever, WE NEED HELP from those around us.

HINT: here’s a way to tell your real friends from your false friends or your mates who have their own issues with booze: ask the same people who are quick to come and smash a bottle of rum on a Friday night if they’re prepared to support you in your efforts to get sober. If they shy away and magically vanish from your radar - they’re not your mates. Chances are - your real friends are the ones who’ve been trying to discuss your ‘drinking’ for a while .... and the chances are, your mates who are there with regularity to ‘’socialise’’ over copious amounts of booze are also the mates in denial about their own relationship with alcohol. Yes, sobriety changes your social structure. And that is always a good, necessary thing.

You might need supervised help...

Depending on the amount of your daily alcohol intake, you might need medical assistance to assist in the early detoxification process. Early withdrawal symptoms can be dangerous. Go see your local GP and be BRUTALLY honest about what is going on. Do not accept a quick 15 minute consult. Remember, your GP works for YOU. Tell them you’re not okay and do not accept a hurried ‘’you just need to cut back’’ for an answer. Do not do that. MAKE your GP listen, and tell them you need a plan. If you live in a bigger centre then go find a kickbutt naturopath. Combine a plan between the two. Seriously. If you car is running on bald tyres and is also not starting properly - you get a mechanic and a local tyre repair dealer to help, yeah? So do the same with you. ENLIST the people who do the stuff. Make them work for their money and don’t be bluffed into unacceptable lazy answers.

Take responsibility for your own recovery and health.

But above all else: communicate honestly with your family and friends!

Even if you think you have hidden your problem from them, they are aware that something is wrong. Trust me on this. Actually, don’t trust me - ask them directly. You will see. Hopefully you can enlist their support in your efforts to recover, if you haven’t pushed them all too far.

Here is the good news: families often come around when they see that your efforts are genuine. But you need to be genuine. No more lies, no more manipulating and half-arsed efforts. It’s time to be fair-dinkum with those you’ve dragged along with you through this horrible journey that takes so much collateral damage.

RESOURCES I RECOMMEND:

Remote / isolated people: the truth is, your options are definitely limited. Which sucks completely - and which is why I am seeking funding to get Sober in the Country online so that I can run webinars and support groups out there to my rural peers and professionals.

If you are reading this and you’re richer than Zeus, then please feel free to reach out and lend a hand. Because I need help to make this happen. I’ve invested everything I have to get this far. And now I am the one asking for support, so that we can help others. Anything is welcome. Seriously.

As I have said twenty billion times before - the welfare sector seems to hand out help and dollars with regularity, but the average tax-payer is often missed entirely. Because we are deemed ‘’okay’’ because we have jobs and aren’t homeless. Sigh. Don’t get me started.

BUT: it can be done. I have done it. Others have done it. In the same way you moved heaven and earth to get yourself a carton of beer despite geographic distance and difficulty - you CAN make it happen.

A STARTING PLACE:

So let’s work on the assumption that you’re in a bigger regional centre, and you feel you can stay anonymous, and that floats your boat - get to a recovery group meeting like AA. Just go. Everyone sitting there has been in your shoes. Don’t be scared. Be excited that you’ve got a ready-made group of genuine friends chillin’ in the one spot. And don’t be an arse. If you see somebody old and worn out - then they’re most likely to be able to give you more advice than anybody else in that entire room. Look beyond the obvious. But you will also see professionals, young people, and PLU’s (people like us.)

Here is the AA website: https://aa.org.au/

If you live in the middle of nowhere Whoop-Whoop; get online to one of their PRIVATE online groups, like this one: https://www.facebook.com/groups/615963151797490/

Check some online recovery books out. Study. Get a copy of the Alcoholics Anonymous big book. It’s 80 years old and filled with truly funny old-fashioned language - but there is some really good info in there. It’s an excellent start-up resource: https://www.booktopia.com.au/alcoholics-anonymous-big-book-4th-edition-aa-services/prod9781893007178.html

Stop looking for excuses! SO many people will find a reason to avoid something like AA. Just like I did. Because I thought I was different and better than that. Nope. Turns out I wasn’t. Turns out some of the best humans I’ve ever met gave me their time, love, and support - because they have BEEN there and they’ve RECOVERED.

Above all else - let go of the notion you can, or even want to be a ‘normal’ drinker - and get real with yourself that booze and you aren’t friends. Get your head around the fact that alcoholism is a disease that can’t be ‘’cured’’ but it CAN BE TREATED. And you treat it by not drinking. Get help to make that happen. Get honest. And get to work. Find what works for you and work it. Because this thing is a progressive and fatal disease and it won’t stop until it’s stolen your sanity and your life.

As you’ve hard a million times: the first step is in admitting you need help.

Start there. Just start.