I think I had a Neurotypical day.......

ADHD symptoms can fluctuate in their level of impact. This often depends on the situation or context.

Consider external, internal stimuli, physical and emotional state.

Yesterday, the planets were aligned. I felt a sense of calm. I felt secure, in control and sure of myself. Also, I felt neither hungry nor full, and I wasn’t thirsty. That’s rare. So rare in fact, that I can count the moments in the last year, on my fingers, when that has occurred.

I was not in a rush. That’s also a rarity. My sense of urgency has been trained like a dangerous dog. I have tamed it. Mostly.

Now that I come to think of it, I have a relationship with most my ADHD symptoms, as if they were third parties. They are well known adversaries, with whom I battle. A lot.

I may be criticised by members of the ND community for inferring that Good = Neurotypical and Bad = Neurodivergent, that’s not what I am saying, at all.

I can’t divorce myself from my neurodivergence, and if this option were even available, I certainly wouldn’t take it.

This is how I imagine, what it’s like.

We often list what all of the symptoms are but, don’t always consider what we are missing or that which is elusive. Perhaps it would help to highlight to the population (who don’t have to use up 1 FTE managing their symptoms) the things they take for granted.

? For Flow to come about with some self-discipline

? A sense of fulfilment from achievement

? Being OK not knowing what’s going to happen next

? Feeling in control of one’s destiny

? Being able to focus on one idea at a time

? Having only one idea at a time

? Feeling Ok about not being productive and achieving something

on a day off.

? Not having that heart thumping dread, because you prioritised

and remembered to do all those important tasks and always do

them - first.

? You are able to enjoy yourself and have capacity for fun

? You take steps to take care of yourself

? You are able to ‘switch off’, having a quiet brain with no narrative

? No negative thought pop-ups

? Being in the moment

? Not feeling an outsider

? Popping down to the shop – is, literally, just that....

I had this for a day. I have had about 12 of these in the last 12 months, so that’s about 1 a month on average. The silence in my brain was quite eerie.

Coincidentally, I got my diagnosis 12 months ago to the day and have had coaching. I see a correlation. I will be monitoring this and will produce a data visualisation with a trendline, in due course.

I still have to point out though, that whilst I was walking the dogs, I came up with two more ideas for novels, enhanced my 12 week coaching programme, worked out what to make for dinner and contemplated if the end of the world was just around the next corner. In 20 minutes. They’re old. The dogs, that is. They wanted to go home after only two circuits of the park. We do the same walk every day and have to go clockwise. I also read all of the car number plates on the way there and back, as well as count the fence posts.

That’s all good. All the positives without the negatives.

Alas, for me, there is a down-side to having one of these days.

It’s never free. There’s a cost.

The following day is like a film showing at high speed, as soon as I open my eyes and that creeping sensation of that certainty, self-belief and self-control is starting to crumble…the embarrassment (I think it was) at enjoying success and squirminess of thinking, that there might be more to come…

I have had difficulty in the past recognising my emotions. To quote the great Leanne Maskell; ‘I can ‘name it, to tame it’. I can nip it in the bud, now.

There will be moments of magic, inner calm and serenity. These are to be enjoyed and savoured. I’ve learned how to create them and I have tools in place to manage the storm.

We can’t be something we’re not

We can only work with what we’ve got.

Work with it. Coach and be coached.