I thank every single one of you...

I was going to put a video up to wish you all a prosperous New Years, but I can't stop crying and nobody wants to see that.

I am not sad, just extremely Thankful and leaving the end of 2020 a completely different person than I stepped into it.

When I originally set up Kloudbase 2 years ago it was pretty much to have a lifestyle business, until I decided what I wanted to do. I had previously got fired from my old company for telling them to shove it and that I could do it bigger and better. Admittedly I had no intention then, of setting up a company, I just wanted the money that was owed to me and occasionally have a hot head and big mouth. I then went into palliative care ( again ) which I loved, but it didn’t pay the mortgage. As I was toying the idea of building Kloudbase into a company I was fortunate enough to have a good friend Nathalie Fort wanting to come and join me at the beginning of this year. With a healthy pipeline and just about to sign a very sizable retainer and another MSP contract, it seemed like a good idea, bang just like the rest of the world, ?? hit the fan and we went to Zero income.

I was suddenly responsible for another person's livelihood and wages and I had to lead from the front. I take my hats off to anyone that has had employees this year no matter the size of the organisation. Because f**k me, did I struggle with the mental battle it brings not knowing where your next invoice is going to come from and that was just one person. How people have done that and have had other challenges such as home schooling you truly are angels.

As I was mentally battling how to deal with the payment of wages, my ex-business partners were taking months to come out of the contract and I could not understand why; as it was their idea. It left me at a completely loose end as I couldn’t do any work with potential legal battles over my head. I was suffering mentally and financially, I had used my savings on wages and genuinely could not see a way out. Then one of my clients rang me to ask why I had invoiced them for ￡60,000, I then broke. It made sense to why they were taking so long. I then suffered with panic attacks daily to the point I was in so much pain I didn’t know if I was suffering from a heart attack. I thought about quitting a million times, infact at that point mentally I had.

Why am I telling you this?

Anyone that has worked within recruitment previously, knows I am ok / maybe good at it, but not amazing. What I am good at is relationship building and genuinely wanting to help. I have been told several times previously " you are too emotional for recruitment" and “you can’t help everybody”. What I always wanted to know is why the fuck not!?

No one could answer me that.

When I was at breaking point, the only thing I knew how to do was offer help, review peoples profiles was pretty much what I could manage and I felt that by keeping busy I was working hard. What I didn’t realise was that it was me that needed help. The amazing people that I spoke to over the summer, friends, mentors, people in the Creative crew and so many candidates and clients actually helped me so much; in understanding who I am and how I want to build a company and that people are the most important part of any business, that I am eternally grateful. It allowed me to take a step back, analyse what I enjoyed and what is most important and learn a hell of a lot.

I always knew to be truly good at what you do, you need a purpose. I just didn’t understand that what I was doing was already fulfilling mine and each of these people re-lit the fire in me.

Every single person this year has had personal, professional and probably mental challenges. We live in a society where people tell you that facing hurdles are a part of life, just get on with it. The thing is no ones challenges, traumas or paths are any less important than your own as no one can understand them as they don’t live in your world. Be proud every day of who you are, who you are becoming, what you have overcome and what you are yet to face. There is no shame in being proud. Just getting through this year and every year up to this point show what a truly amazing person you are.

I am proud and excited about the business we are building, we are about to welcome two new people to the team and have one of the best models in the business. Why? Because we care. I am truly grateful for everything and everyone that I have been blessed to have crossed my path and

I wish you all a healthy and prosperous 2021!