I Tell it Like it Really Is

You may have heard the aphorism:

“The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.”

It is attributed to the former Australian Chief of Defence, General David Hurley. To me, it means that we need to have the courage to speak up in the face of injustice at any level, especially when others are silent.

But there are those who have no trouble in speaking up, in fact, they speak up with wild abandon, often with the megaphone of social media. You would certainly have heard someone claiming: “I tell it like it really is!” when someone is defending their right to speak about what they may see as the figurative elephant in the room. 

More often than not, such a speaker will claim the killer quinella:

• The courage to speak out; and
• A mortgage on “the truth”.

But these two matters have to be viewed independently. And in situations such as these, there may be other factors at work.

Primarily, that speaking up doesn’t grant us a license to the truth. We will have to be prepared to accept the consequences of our claim(s) whether we are proven right or wrong.

Further, speaking up doesn’t guarantee that we are entitled to getting our own way. Others may in fact feel mobilized to oppose us.

So when someone says:

“I tell it like it really is.” Or “I’m just telling the truth.” and then take it another step with:

“I am the only one who says what other people are thinking.” They are making the biggest stretch of all.

And anyone daring to differ, may be assailed with: “You can’t handle the truth!”

The only certainty here is that people who make these statements are just as susceptible to bias and error as the rest of us. If they have at least a modicum of humility, they know that speaking their mind can be regarded as no more than expressing an opinion because:

• The “truth” in most cases is subjective.
• It also possible that they are mistaken in what they have seen, heard or interpreted.
• It is also possible that they are telling a deliberate lie (to protect someone or something under threat).
• It takes a special kind of arrogance to believe that anyone can claim to know exactly what other people are thinking…moreover, that they can appoint themselves as everyone’s spokesperson.

Such behaviour within our own organisations or abroad, will undoubtedly be something that we cannot walk past. We must rise to the challenge—and are best advised to slow things down by:

1. Looking to ourselves—what do we believe and why are we so at odds with the message received? Have we articulated, in writing, our belief system? 
2. Suspending reaction and embracing skepticism—taking the time for a considered response rather than firing off a salvo that may cause more heat than light.
3. Asking ourselves: “Is this verifiable, is this fact?” What objective data can we find to support the believability of the message and the credibility of the speaker? 
4. Searching deeper—what could be the speaker’s motive(s)? What is at stake? Is something being concealed? Is there something other than what is being stated? 
5. Deciding whether this forms a pattern with previous statements, what could these behaviours indicate, what shared affiliations does the speaker have? Is there consistency over time?
6. Discovering what other facts and opinions are available on this matter. What is the breadth of commentary, what and who agrees or disagrees with this?
7. Taking time for reflection and reconsideration. Having processed these responses, do we have something new or different to accept, modify, discard or counter? What’s next?
8. Creating our new settings. Coming up with our, now much more considered, response or statement. (While always remaining open to learning, change and modification.)

When someone claims the high moral ground, the chances are that they are merely promoting their own interests—advocating themselves. They will have much more credibility if they are advocating for someone else and clearly have no vested interest. 

Then others can decide for themselves whether what they are hearing is like it really is. 

Next week: Are You in the Arena?

About the Author

Jeff Bell is Principal of executive consultancy ResultsWise in Perth, Western Australia. 

To boost your leadership, ask Jeff about consulting, coaching, strategy facilitation, his Band of Leaders Australia (BoLA) group or Advanced Leadership Course: [email protected]; mobile 0439 988 662

Jeff’s podcasts: https://www.audible.com.au/pd/As-a-Leader-Audiobook/