I Surrender

There is a moment in life where existence becomes so intense that you just give up, the struggle and the rush is over. It's heaven, but on earth.

When you surrender things show themselves as they are, without filters, without your filters of what you want and don't want (because you stop wanting); you can see clearly what is in front of you, and (what is most surprising) what you carry inside you. You see all your light and all your darkness, you see your gold and your shit, your love and your fear; and also, you let go of that backpack that has been weighing you down for years, but that you continue to carry because you think it is part of you (when it is nothing more than an accessory).

A few days ago I did just that, I surrendered; and with it I let go of responsibilities that I had been carrying for years and that did not correspond to me, emotions that I had put on hold in order to hold others. The stories I told myself to cover up the reality that hurt at the time, disappeared. I came face to face with all the shit I had been keeping under the carpet, and behind the door of my inner house, damn the shit that was there!. But as I started cleaning up, I understood why at the time I didn't do it, I wasn't that strong yet. So I left myself some reminders to come back when I could hold myself while cleaning. Something that was not easy, until I surrendered; when I surrendered I was able to enjoy the process of putting love where before there was anger and resentment.

I do a lot of things out of love for me. But, at least to this day, the greatest show of love for myself has been surrendering to life, and enjoying the shit and the gold in it. How great it is to surrender!

Who am I? I'm Victoria Soriano, a curious woman who likes to wonder about life... and who now shares it.

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