I started the year 2020 with murder - KILLED my old self

It’s New Year’s Eve and you see yourself surrounded by a plethora of resolutions and promises or just people pledging to accomplish certain goals for the next year.

You see celebrations, lots of fresh starts and cheering moments to embrace what this new year would be bringing.

But I started the year 2020 with murder. I killed someone!

I killed a person I had a decade-long bond with.

With this murder, ended my relationship and experiences with that person as I cut the thread of connection with him.

I have had a fair share of my life’s dead time with that person to an extent that he was clung with me, holding me back, reminding me of my ego, self-respect, fears, telling me to be afraid of the uncertainties, to not take risks, to stay within my comfort zone. 

I had to do this noble deed of murdering him and watch him as he died.

The only noble deed disguised under this sin that I do not regret committing.

Because I killed my toxic old self - a version of me serving as a hindrance towards my growth, who had been stopping me from evolving, telling me that I wasn’t good enough, asking me to look for validation and approval from people, instilling fear in me. Honestly, the virtue of committing this murder resurrected me into becoming a better version of myself.

I killed myself last night because that was the only way I could see to transit myself to a new year.

Human beings have evolved from their primitive, simpler versions to complex and compound beings over millions of years. We needed evolution to survive and survival demanded the death of the versions that were not fit for the competition and were not able to cope up with the general aggressive surrounding conditions. Growth is innate to human existence and hence, our lives in their social, professional and physical surroundings require evolution.

Hence, it’s time to kill your older, toxic and timid self as we all step into the new year with a new self.

But how do you do that?

Do some self-reflection

While most of us focus on resolutions, new year goals and list of things we want to accomplish - what we need to focus on for the time being is “self-reflection”. To realise how important it is to kill parts of yourself that have been stopping you from growth, progress, accepting mistakes and improving. Most of us believe in building courage and resilience to deal with what life would bring to us but honestly, future is not what happens to us, it is what we make. Hence, you need to live life on the offence rather than being defensive and for that, it is very important to stop and reflect upon yourself during the past years and kill the habits that stop you from growth.

Self-reflection helps you reflect upon the transpiration of the self you’ve been nurturing for the past couple of years. It helps you gain perspective on the things that worked out and those that did not which can further guide you towards a purpose. 

Just like the rear-view mirror in a car which guides you on how to move forward and steer through the traffic ahead. Driving requires you to be smart - it demands your focus towards what is coming ahead more than on what you left behind. In order to navigate better, you need to look through the rearview mirror but constantly looking at the rearview will end you up with a detrimental accident. Just like life’s experiences, you need to shed off what is behind and move forward towards the road of betterment and growth. You need to advance with smart and responsible driving, making sure you do not deviate the road of rules and principles. 

Analyse your Alive Time Vs Dead Time

Time is a valuable commodity which must be spent wisely. While you self-reflect on your experiences for the past decade, you need to analyse your time into two categories: dead time vs alive time. 

“According to Greene, there are two types of time in our lives: dead time, when people are passive and waiting, and alive time, when people are learning and acting and utilizing every second. Every moment of failure, every moment or situation that we did not deliberately choose or control, presents this choice: Alive time. Dead time. Which will it be?”  – Ryan Holiday, Ego Is the Enemy

Everything we do in life is a choice and things that happen to us are not our choices but the way we choose to react (or do not react) to them is a choice we make. The way you spend your time is a choice. So, if you are on a long flight to a place, staring at the window during the journey is a choice you’ve made. Whereas, during the same flight, opting to read a book or sorting out your emails to an outbox is another choice you make. You have the power to make your time either dead or alive. Letting life happen to you is embracing dead time while controlling your situations, acting out and fighting through the tough times is making your time alive.

“We think the future is something that happens, rather than something we make.” 

- Ryan Holiday

Hence, stop letting your life conditions dictate you instead, give up your dead life, kill your older self that stops you from moving forward and start having an alive time where you are constantly investing in yourself, improving, creating, learning and growing. Start your new year with a pledge to evolve as a better person. 

Follow these simple tips and make your time ALIVE!

1. There is no right moment except for when we create one! 

Stop procrastinating and waiting for “the right time” to do something. Most of us miss out on opportunities and valuable entities in life sitting back, waiting for the right moment or person to make something happen. There is no such thing as a perfect moment, a perfect opportunity or a perfect timing - YOU need to take the action in order to make that moment, opportunity and the timing right for you. The power is in YOU. 

2. DO NOT listen to that little voice 

Honestly, most of the people are living out of fear, staying within their comfort zones and not risking out their selves into doing something that would make them vulnerable and productive. If you let your fear control you or listen to that little, feeble voice haunting you with how big of a competition it is that you would face - you are going to lose BIG TIME. You will let beautiful things slip out of your own hands if you let your fears control you.

3. Work on YOU for YOU

Start investing in your own growth not because you want approval from people or need the validation to feel good about yourself. Rather, you should work on yourself for your own self. Your competition is with your own self. The approval you are seeking from most of the people around you will never lead you towards accomplishing greater things, rather it will deviate you from your desired goals. Hence, your approval should come from within, assuring you that you are "Evolving".