I Was So Embarrassed

I was so embarrassed.?I was trying my best to keep a low profile, as I learned the ins and outs of my new role, but clearly that was not going to be how this was going to go.

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December 2009…I had just graduated from US Air Force Weapons School.?I happened to be in the first Remotely Piloted Aircraft class in Weapons School history.?Upon graduation, I receive a call from an Arizona Air National Guard public affairs officer, the unit I was assigned to, asking if he could interview me for an article he wants to write about my graduation.?I kindly reply that I had attended Weapons School to learn as much as I could about employing and instructing in my weapons system and not for any sort of publicity.?I politely decline his request.?

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He is persistent, sharing that it would be great for recruiting for the Arizona Air National Guard.?Still not interested, but understanding the importance of recruiting in the Guard, I agree to the interview.?My understanding is that the article would be written for and published in the Tucson Air National Guard base paper.

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January 2010… I arrive at Nellis Air Force base for my first ever Weapons and Tactics Conference (WEPTAC), a gathering for ALL the Weapons Officers across the Air Force.?I am excited and nervous all at the same time.?I take a trip to the base convenience store and find myself in utter shock when I look down at a pile of newspapers and see my face on the front page. My stomach turns as I think to myself, “nooooo, are you kidding me??So much for keeping a low profile.”

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Come to find out the article was in fact written for the Tucson Air National Guard base paper, but apparently it is common practice for other organizations to publish articles they find newsworthy.?The article was posted on multiple websites, like the main Air National Guard webpage, the Air Force webpage and in several print publications, like the Nellis Base paper.?

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What is so funny to me, is when we were getting our photos taken with our aircraft for Weapons School graduation, we took ones like the one used in the article as a joke, saying “hey, let’s pretend we are climbing up the ladder into our plane, you know, how we used to pose next to our manned aircraft.”

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Additionally, because of this photo release, I was also dubbed “Captain Morgan” for my similar stance to the pirate that represents the popular rum.

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Back to the point…and how I started out the article…”I was embarrassed.”?As I reflect on this situation, why was I embarrassed??Truth is, an inner enemy I am very regularly battling is my concern about what other people think, yep, I know, I know, but I’m simply being honest here, because it matters. ?It is one thing to say, “who cares what other people think” and another to actually release that concern.?I recognize that I can’t always stop the thoughts from showing up in my mind, but it’s what I do with those thoughts that counts.?

So what was my issue with this article??I didn’t want to stand out and I knew this clearly drew attention to me.?Why did that matter??Because I was worried people might think I considered myself something extra special.?I didn’t want to be perceived as egotistical.?The best I could do at this point was honor the Weapons School creed…humble, approachable, credible.?The publishing of this article didn’t change that.

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Be aware of the enemies you have inside of you and be prepared to battle them.?They may return again and again, but your response to them should improve with every engagement.?What inner enemies do you need to continually battle?

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*If you are interested in reading the original you can read it here. https://www.nellis.af.mil/News/Article-Display/Article/285468/pilot-makes-history-after-graduating-from-weapons-school/

#alwaysimproving #innerenemies #humble #weaponsschool #usaf #ang #rpa #uav