I Will Show You Distance
Vance G. Larson CHt
Consultant, Coach & Advisor- Bringing Humanity Back To Business
2020. What a ride. Personally for me, this has been one of the best years of my life, despite losing my daughter. But for so many, the conversation has been about blame. Blame that is often directed at family and friends. I get it. Change often brings out the worst in people. And more often than not, change brings anger. But what does anger accomplish?
I am all for standing up for what you believe in. If you need to protest, then by all means protest. But the weight of your message will be judged in the manner in which you protest. Look, there are many people who I disagree with. Some, I even call my dearest friends. But I am slow to anger. And no, I don't think anger is inherently bad. Used properly, it can change the world. The flip side of that coin is, used improperly, it can destroy it.
My wife and I have been together for close to 20 years. She would tell you herself, that she has maybe seen me angry all of 4 or 5 times. My coworkers would tell you the same thing. I handle the pressure calls at work, with both dignity and class. Now when I finish those calls, I'm all about fuck this and fuck that. But I simply do not lose my cool in a crisis.
A life time of meditation has taught me many lessons. And when a situation presents that it may get elevated, I remind myself to strive for what's right, not being right. Game changer. Through 35 years of mental health work, I have had to deal with people that I fundamentally oppose on a cellular level. But if I buy into the bullshit, I have no chance of reaching {let alone understanding} that person. Personally, I try to lead with kindness with every encounter.
With the above being said, I have a fail safe. And it is one that I have implored my entire adult life. It boils down to this. If I can't offer you kindness, I will show you distance. Life is to short to try and prove yourself, or change someone's mind. Besides, the way you live, will speak louder than any words you can mutter. But the choice is yours. Buy into your peace. Or sell it to someone who has no desire to receive it.
Chose peace every time. For this is how you will change the world.