I should stay or should I find another job?
Jill D. Griffin
Career Strategist | Executive Coach PCC | Leadership Strategy | Strategic Facilitation | Board Member | Invisible Disability Advocate | Host: The Career Refresh Podcast | Advertising Age Woman to Watch
“I’m not good enough. I’m not creative enough. I’m not strategic enough.”
I should have raised my hand.
I’m not suited for this project.
I should find another job.
For years, this was my internal dialogue. There was a near-constant chatter from an unwelcome bully determined to hold me back.
I tortured myself by letting these words continue to rattle around in my brain, despite my multiple industry awards rewarding my strategic and creative thinking.
Despite all the evidence, I continued to believe I had to do MORE in order to not fall short.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Evidence doesn’t matter when you’re stuck in all-or-nothing thinking. It’s the crux of the issue.
I would decide that if I didn’t perform at 100% capacity 100% of the time, I must not be up to par.
That’s the nothing side. The “nothing” happens when we start to believe that if we can’t have it all, we’d rather take nothing.
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The “all” happens when you set an unrealistic expectation for yourself.
You start to believe that if you are not 100% perfect in your performance, you might as well be a zero. You’d be better off just giving up.
It’s a brain twist because you know you don’t want to give up. You’ve set the bar for perfection so incredibly high that it’s impossible to hit it consistently.
When you default to all-or-nothing thinking, you walk away from experiences thinking that your performance was awful. Full-stop. You’ll never find the gems of good in your performance. You won’t learn from your mistakes.
It’s nearly impossible to learn through the lens of self-criticism and judgment.?Human motivation is wired for positive reinforcement.
Thoughts become feelings.
All-or-nothing thoughts trigger feelings like fear, disappointment, self-criticism, unworthiness, and shame.
If you’re feeling any of these feelings around your work, your performance, or yourself in general, I challenge you to look at your thoughts.
Are you trapped in all-or-nothing thinking? I can help. Let’s chat about how to get out.?Book a free strategy session with me here.
Here’s to possibility.
Technology, AI, Product and Privacy Counsel|Responsible AI @Accenture
2 年I definitely think everyone goes through this at some point in their lives, and it’s usually those who are very competent. Never let that little voice keep you from taking on challenges to help you grow. Now real workplace “bullies” are a different story, and when encountered it may be time to rethink positions or jobs. It’s not worth engaging or interacting.