I should be making multiple 6 figures...

I should be making multiple 6 figures…

This is the thing I “should on myself” about the most.?

(If you don’t know what I mean by shoulding… I talked about it Monday on the LinkedIn feed and with my email list. If you're not on the list, click here to never miss content!)

Why do I believe I should be making multiple 6 figures?

Well, I want to succeed, achieve, be respected and valued.

And where did that number come from?

I have no freaking clue.

This arbitrary figure has given me more stress than I care to admit. It’s a mishmash of popular societal norms, my own insecurities and other intrusive thoughts that have burrowed into my brain.

The thing is, my family doesn't need me to make that much, and on some level I know that my value as a human isn't tied to my paycheck. I know this, but I often feel differently.

I’ve convinced myself that anything short of that is a failure. I've concocted this story where my worth is directly proportional to my earnings, where true success is measured in dollar signs.

It’s stressful.

And it is stress I am putting on myself… no one else.

Literally NO ONE.??

And for what?

NOT.A.DAMN.THING.

But in my mind I’ve crafted this story…?

that I need to make just as much if not more than my husband.?

that my kids will only value their time with me if I’m able to buy them extras/take them to expensive places.

that my extended family will only respect me if I reach a certain level.

that the only way not to fail is to make that much.

But I have certain tactics I use to combat those lies…

I run them through a facts vs. feelings exercise.

I get a piece of paper and list out my feeling on one side. I take time to recognize the feeling and validate it, but instead of trying to change the feeling, I work through it.? I work through it with the facts side.? Listing everything I know to be true or false about this feeling—based on objective facts and information.

And I ask myself questions…

Where did this feeling or belief originate?

What in my life perpetuates those beliefs?

What do I feel like I’m gaining by holding on to that belief?

What would life be like if I didn’t have that belief?

Question for you … what feelings/beliefs do YOU have where you might need to do a facts vs. feelings exercise? Want some help walking through those steps? Email me, DM me …?find a way to reach out. Let’s smash some false beliefs together ??

Cheers to Growth!

Hillarie Kay

Creator of the Burnout Recovery System

Book coming Spring 2024 (Download a free chapter here.)

Want to chat? Click here.