I Should Have Been Married By Now

I am at peace with my past.

I am in love with my present.

I am excited about my future.

I wouldn't have been able to say that affirmation, much less believe it, 15 years ago…shoot, not even five years ago, if I'm being honest.

My life isn't where I thought it would be at this moment, and finally, with time, wine (lol), and therapy, I'm truly thankful for exactly where I am at this moment and excited about what's next.

July kicks off a brand-new weekly blog series that I am excited to share with you. This series is intended for businesswomen and female founders who are in transition or trying to navigate their careers, businesses, and the concept of "having it all."

My thoughts and perspectives are deeply influenced by my experiences as a Black female entrepreneur, community leader, and business professional for the last 20 years (which is insane to write, lol).

This week's moment of clarity:

ACCEPT YOUR REALITY FOR WHAT IT IS, NOT WHAT YOU WOULD HOPE IT TO BE

A month or two ago, I got hit by a randomly awful cold. I woke up one morning and realized I had forgotten to charge my phone, so I couldn't contact anyone. I stumbled to my bathroom only to discover I was out of medicine. I then staggered to the kitchen, thinking some tea with honey would help my sore throat. Not only did I not have any tea or honey, but there was only takeout and wine in my fridge.

I went back to bed feeling sorry for myself and said out loud, "I should have been married by now!" because obviously, that would have cured my cold and ensured I had groceries, right?

Several hours later, I woke up to my roommate and work colleague, Cash Brand, staring intently at me. Cash could not have cared less that I was sick or didn't have a husband. All he knew was that we were several hours late for his morning walk, and that was absolutely unacceptable.

It's easy to covet the things we don't have. In a hilarious twist, some of my married friends will remind me about how lucky I am that I don't have to share my bathroom or don't have to check in with anyone before making a decision because I am the decision.

Eventually, my phone was charged. I ordered groceries and medicine and within a few days, slowly started to feel better.

Should I be married by now? Historically, according to society's standards, the answer would be a resounding YES. And let's not even talk about having children. I'm fully aware that I have hit the "geriatric pregnancy" age (35 and older).

But I am 100% positive that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this moment.

Since January, I've been so blessed to meet hundreds of badass women around the state of Texas as Her Texas went on a special spring tour. How amazing is that? Little Jasmin would be proud I think :). We're building something amazing that has the potential to disrupt how everyday women support and invest in one another. It's hard but incredibly impactful work that makes me so excited to keep going.

I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this very moment.

And so are you.

The energy spent obsessing about what we wished would have or could have happened can derail the train you're currently on that is still moving forward regardless.

It also prevents you from truly embracing all that has gone right and being thankful for all that went wrong or didn't go as planned because there are always lessons in the mess.

As professional women, it's okay not to strive for "having it all."

The societal pressure to excel in every aspect of life can be overwhelming and unrealistic. It's important to recognize that balance looks different for everyone, and true success is about fulfillment and alignment with your personal values and goals, not meeting every external expectation. And maybe, just maybe we can have it all, but just not all at the same time. I haven't given up on the idea of marriage and meet amazing guys all of the time (stay tuned y'all lol), but I'm also not beating myself up for it not happening yet either.

TWMOC: THIS WEEK'S MOMENT OF CLARITY

• Every day is another chance to get it right, to try again. If you are reading this, it's not over.
• The grass always looks greener. Sometimes it is, but often it is not.
• Be thankful for the little things and the big things and the good and the bad times too.
• If you aren't happy with your current situation, remember that it hasn't always been this way and this too shall pass.
• We get the energy we give back. Spreading good vibes doesn't mean you're not in the middle of a hot mess right now. It just takes more energy to be negative than it does to be positive and hopeful.
• The words you say and think about yourself matter.
• It's not failure if you keep going and if you keep striving for what you deserve.

See you next week,

xo Jasmin