I See a Great Leader in You

Dear Jon,

This may not be the best way to start a letter.

In all fairness, though, you and I have always made our own path. We never looked at a situation as hard; we just looked at it through each other’s lenses when we couldn’t see the clear path ahead.

I wanted to congratulation you on completing your Masters in Organizational Leadership. You did, baby! You crossed a hurdle that, to be honest, wasn’t even in our viewpoint when we got married.

You did it. Through 5 years of deployments (half of our marriage really), so many leadership schools I lost count, moving several times, and yes, of course – starting our small, but sweet family.

You did it, and you did well.

Now you’re a chief and stepping into a role that only a few have come across and…YOU DID IT.

I know you’re restless and you want to DO more, BE more, but baby, let me tell you a story why I am not worried about whom you will become as a leader. I promise you - you’re already there.

Do you remember this weekend?

We were driving up the side of a mountain, planning on going mushroom hunting, and of course, you knew the perfect spot. We pulled over to a rest area, and you noticed a family that had a flat tire.

Me (being me) immediately started telling you that we need to help them. We need to get in there and do something, and by we, I mean you because let’s face it – you rock when it comes to fixing things.

You did that calming handy wavy thingy that you do and basically told me, “I got it, babe. Calm down.” Out of the truck you went and over to this family that was very well dressed for being in the middle of the mountains and I had no idea where they got their leather shoes, but I could see myself wearing them.

You asked simple questions and said, “It looks like you got it,” and then went off to find a hiking path.

I was kind of pissed.

They clearly DID NOT HAVE IT.

The older man was struggling even to get the tire jack up. The older son (there were two) obviously had never changed a tired, the older sister was reading the manual and probably thinking to herself – I am never leaving my house again, and the grandma…yeah. She was the one that caught my eye.

In case you don’t know, honey, there is a look that women share and it only takes one facial expression to understand a whole conversation. It went like this…

 “Look, my husband has no idea what he is doing, but I can’t say that because he will never talk to me again and that could be a good thing, but really I just want to go home because I hate the mountains and the snow and really all of nature. PLEASE HELP”

I nodded back an “I got you lady.”

That’s when I came and got you. I made you go back over. I told you – they don’t have this. PLEASE HELP.

Sometimes you drive me crazy.

You walked right over and politely said, “mind if I give it a try?”

Within five minutes, that tire was changed and the grandma was SO HAPPY.

After offering to pay and of course, we refused because we have a soul, they were off. Happy and safe.

When I asked you why you just didn’t help them right away, you looked at me and said …

“I didn’t want to take away his man card.”

This was the moment, baby. The moment I knew you had arrived.

You understood that this older man was the head of his family.

You didn’t want to shame him in front of his sons and wife that he was struggling.

You wanted to give him a chance to save his pride.

You understood what he needed out of respect for the situation and his dignity.

NOTE: I’m sure you know this, but I have no pride. I just want to get the job done.

YOU.

You want to do what’s right for all parties involved, including your own family.

You didn’t step in until there was no other option. You weren’t going to let that family not be ok, but you weren’t going to shame them either.

You made me see a different side of helping that I never considered.

YOU ARE HERE…and I am so PROUD of you.

Congratulations on your graduation!

I love you forever.