,i saw: 'A love story. About the four F's of his life."

It was 5 am this morning when I met Alan. 

First a gator came racing into the dark farmyard. Then, a pick up with a livestock trailer barreled in and parked next to me. (I was thankful for people showing up as I had been in the dark farmyard since 4 am – my mistake for not clarifying the morning milking time vs. the afternoon milking time! Ha!)

In the dark, I walked over and extend my hand and said good morning. I was smiling trying to be friendly to the stranger. Turns out it was my milking partner and farmer, Alan. He said hello, with a straight face and told me that Fran, his wife was in the gator. I walked over to say hello to her.

We walked into the milking parlor. Cows on the ready to get milked! So, I offered my ‘just-kick-me-out-when-I-get-in-the-way’ suggestion with a smile and asked what I could do. Fran showed me.

Alan still had his straight face on. Looked determined to get going on the daily milking chores. I was actually nervous about ticking off Alan since here’s this old, city kid trying to do a ‘farmers’ job.’ So rather than stand around, I dipped the teats, put on the milkers and sprayed hoofs. Trying to win his favor. (I’m chatty as many of you know, so I was asking lots of questions of Fran hoping that I’d win her over as a ‘volunteer farmhand’ in case Alan decided it was time to kick me out! I even asked Fran if I was asking too many questions…she politely said, ‘oh no.’)

So like all farmers I meet for the first time, I asked Alan what are the ‘best’ and ‘hardest’ things of being a farmer. He started telling me. ‘My parents gave me the opportunity to farm. I worked hard and took it.’ It was after this, that I saw (in his eyes…and his smile) and heard ‘A love story.’

Alan told me that he lives by the Four F’s of Life. Excited to tell me, he started the order of the F’s in a couple different ways. Then, Fran reminded him of the first F. His Four F’s of Life are:

Faith.

Family.

Farm.

Fran.

(After discovering the love story, I’m not sure they go exactly in this order. Yet, you’ll see there is no other order for them then this.)

Faith. Alan and Fran seem to be built on faith. Fran said, think about this…we have all this…just because two people fell in love. Alan’s been milking cows since he was 10 years old on this same farm that his daughter, Heidi and son-in-law now live on. I saw their faith in believing that they did a good job building the farm and their family.

Family. ‘Blessed to have four girls!, exclaimed Alan. And four son-in-laws. I saw pride and love for what Alan and Fran were able to create. Their girls. Their grandchildren. Their farm. Fran said, ‘it’s so wonderful to see the next generation have their own children. And to share the values that built our family. I also think that they are proud of what their girls are doing. And, it seems like they had an extra sparkle of pride when they talked about Heidi ending up now working on the farm…and raising her children in the same home that embraced her childhood.

Farm. Alan said he couldn’t think of what the ‘hardest’ thing was about being a farmer. Yet later, both Alan and Fran mentioned that they struggle with the public perceptions of farmers related to statements about animal treatment, the smell of manure and conservation practices. (all those topics are for another story…that’s why I listen to farmers to see the ‘reality’ of farming.)

Alan also mentioned that he enjoys the independence of farming. Fran says every day is different and can be somewhat adventurous. AND, she added, ‘a farm is a great place to raise a family.’

Fran. I said that Alan was a bit ‘straight-faced’ when I first met him. (not judging – afterall, it was 5 am in the morning when he met me, a total stranger!)

Yet, when he talked about being married to ‘Franny’ for the last 42 years. His smile emerged and his face lit up. When I listened to this farmer, I saw: ‘Franny IS his wingman.’ In an era where I hear many married couples saying, ‘they married their best friend,’ I get the sense that maybe Alan and Franny where the first. Farmers work seven days a week. While they have friends. They better-as-heck think of their spouse, also as a friend…given the amount of time they spend together on this business, called: Dairy Farming. That, requires a special way of life given the fact that they live and work on the farm 24/7.

So, I wonder if now it is: Fran. Faith. Family. Farm.

While it can’t be logically. It is. Franny appears to be his first and only F in life. There is no faith. There is no family. There is no farm. Without, Franny. She appears to be Alan’s ‘tree of life’ to show others. This is what a life. Well lived. Looks like.