I said NO!

In the recent past weekends, I realised for a fact that there was an appointment I had been failing to meet consistently. It was on my “very important to do list” but not classified as “urgent”. So naturally, every other urgent took out this appointment without fail. I have a good heart and put it up as critical and important but not urgent. My personality and mindset did not give me the liberty to utter the most liberating two letter words penned in history: NO!

 Did I say NO? Yes, I said No. That was such a difficult word for me. That was me (hopefully not anymore. I am work-in-progress). It was difficult to say Yes to everything and anyone calling; screaming for my attention. Everything else was more ‘urgent’ that this CRUCIAL APPOINTMENT!

Yeah, spill it out girl, what is this ‘VIA (very important appointment)?

It was my “FTT appointment” -“Family’s Time Together”.

To put this in perspective, I am a trainer. I build people’s capacities and capabilities using workshops, seminars, conferences and conversations. I do Family life workshops. Most Saturdays, I am away training. My weekends at home have become dear and precious. Guess who is with my children when I am training – our nanny! I make it up and balance this as a working mom. I realised if I wanted to stay AUTHENTIC as a family life enthusiast and coach, Sunday school and children’s ministers’ trainer, my charity had to begin at home. I shall give you tips on my work – life blend another day.

My freedom came the day I uttered the two letter word NO to friends who wanted to visit; another who wanted me to run an errand that would erode my FTT appointment. I simply said the following: “I am sorry, we are engaged. We have plans and not available tomorrow evening”. I dropped the phone with giddy excitement. I DID IT! I said NO and rather said YES to my FTT. Family time is a crucial engagement that must be kept! We curled up and watched the movie “Queen of Katwe”!

When you retire and are old, grey and wrinkled (sorry ladies), the dividends and the ROI of keeping your Family Time appointments will still be speaking. It’s an investment that is bound to do you more good than harm. Diarise it! Keep it! Do It! Families should be enjoyed and not endured.

Final tips:

Say No!               AND THEN                       Say Yes! To what is critical and important- Your FTT

Bolanle Enang, Family Life Enthusiast; Convener of ‘The Table” and Family Wellness Workshops.