I remember...

"My dad hits my mom..."

I remember sitting there speechless. Those words came from the 5-year-old that I was sitting with at Newhouse Shelter. He was reading to me one of his books for school, and casually, as if it was a normal part of the conversation, said, “My dad hits my mom.” His home life was filled with constant violence and he was growing up believing that you showed love by using force, intimidation, and violence. 

I remember the day that Jennifer* told us that her mom’s boyfriend had sexually assaulted her. She was afraid to speak up and she was afraid she would not be believed by her family. They did not believe her. But we did. She was 13.

I remember working the hotline one evening and a woman called desperately needing shelter. Her abuser had been chipping away at her emotionally for a long time. I was walking her through the hotline call, reassuring her we could bring her in where she would be safe. She kept apologizing. Apologizing was her way to try and get her husband to stop throwing punches at her. I kept telling her she didn’t need to apologize. She did nothing wrong and she didn’t deserve this. We would get her into the shelter and she would be safe. She started crying and said, “I’m so sorry I wasted your time. I’m so sorry!” *click* She had hung up. 

I remember many of the women, men, and children who have walked through Newhouse’s doors. I remember the celebrations. The day Lakeisha came home from the hospital after giving birth to a beautiful baby boy. Or the time Meredith graduated with her certificate in Welding. There was the time Alisha got the keys to her first apartment, the first place that ever felt like home. And I remember when Arleeta spoke in front of hundreds at our gala, sharing her story of survival, bringing the audience to a standing ovation. 

I remember a lot of the stories, many inspiring, but many heartbreaking. I know if you asked any of my colleagues, they could share with you the things they remember. By now you have probably heard me speak in great depths about Newhouse Shelter, or you have seen my endless posts. But I believe so much in this mission. I believe so much in the work our clinical team is doing to help survivors heal from trauma. But mostly, I believe in our residents. Some of them come into Newhouse with very little. Some of them share how no one has ever told them they are proud of them or that they deserve to live a life free from abuse. Some have no family to turn to and some have hit their breaking point. I wish I could hug every survivor on this earth and tell them they deserve so much more. But thankfully, a place like Newhouse is here for clients when they are ready to start a new day. 

Today, I should have been at Newhouse's New Day Luncheon, but unfortunately, our nation is experiencing a health crisis and it was for the safety of everyone that we move this to a virtual campaign. Today, we launched the #NewDay4Newhouse campaign to raise life-saving dollars for the adults and children who call Newhouse home. Domestic violence never takes a break, which means neither can we. Our shelter is still open around the clock providing services to our residents. While most of the therapy and case management is being done remotely, we still have staff at the front lines, in the shelter, aiding survivors. 

This has never been just a job for me, and Newhouse has become a part of my life. This is my second time working for Newhouse and I feel so blessed to be a part of this team.

I remember the first day that I stepped into Newhouse Shelter (back in 2013). I knew nothing about domestic violence... I didn't even know it was a thing. A lot has changed in the last 7 years, but I still remember so much. I will always be a voice for survivors and I hope you'll join me in being a voice too. 

All the love,

Christopher

Learn more about the New Day for Newhouse Campaign.

*All names are changed for the safety of our current and past residents.