You?Can?Go Home Again, If...

In this series, professionals share all the right — and wrong — ways to leave a job. Follow the stories here, and write your own (please include #IQuit somewhere in the body of your post).

Don’t burn your bridges behind you.”

It’s an old expression but one that never loses relevance. It’s what parents tell children and mentors tell mentees – universal in life or at work: When you leave an organization, do your best to leave on good terms. As I see it, the world is a small place; you never know when you might work with or for some of the same people again, nor do you know if you’ll become a client of that company or if the company will become your client. Regardless of the reason, leaving on good terms is the right thing to do.

When you finally decide to leave the company you’re working for, as you exit, you’re probably not thinking about returning – I know that I was not. In fact, if you have any thoughts of returning as you walk out the door, you have to question why you are leaving in the first place. That said, there are rare situations when the opportunity to return to your prior employer arises and you ask yourself, “Is it ever really possible to go ‘home?’” In my case, it was.

Here’s my story:

I practically grew up at Nasdaq.

I started as an intern and rose through the ranks to become responsible for corporate strategy and the company’s Chief Financial Officer. Granted, it didn’t happen overnight – it took 17 years of hard work and saying ‘yes’ to projects that were scary, challenging, and took every ounce of my energy. Sure, the work-life balance was taxing: My home, my husband, and my boys were in Washington, D.C., and my job was in New York City. But I loved working for Nasdaq, so I just accepted the commuting, demanding though it was, as the price of loving my work.

But when a headhunter called me about a high-level job in Washington at The Carlyle Group, I felt compelled to take the call. On the one hand, it was like being asked to leave a great home. There would have to be an outstanding reason for me to say goodbye to an enterprise and a set of colleagues I truly respected and to whom I felt very loyal. The Carlyle opportunity, however, was extremely compelling. But as I was interviewed at length and in depth by at least seven different Carlyle executives, I felt a true connection to the people and the collaborative culture. Moreover, I had always had an aspiration to be on the buy side of the investment world. Maybe it was in my genes: My father worked for T. Rowe Price, and my brother runs a hedge fund. But it was the job itself that was the most exciting aspect of the proposition: I was being recruited to be the Chief Financial Officer, which included the opportunity to take the company public.

I suppose what topped it off was that my kids were starting middle and high school, a fairly crucial time in their development — in many ways the time when they need the most emotional support. At the time, I wondered if this was maybe the right moment to stop commuting and stay closer to home. Most of all, I felt deep down that it would be exciting to test myself at another company — in another environment – and see if I could stand up and succeed in a place where I hadn’t grown up. “Virtue untested,” wrote Milton, “is not virtue at all.” Time to test mine.

Yet precisely because there could be no wrong choice here, I sought counsel from others— my husband, my father, someone from outside the family whom I trusted implicitly and who could look at my situation totally objectively, as perhaps a husband or father could not. Compare where are you today with what is being offered, this person said, and make the choice on that basis.

It was essential to me that everybody at both organizations understood that I was leaving Nasdaq and joining Carlyle for all the right reasons, that I would miss the former and embrace the opportunity at the latter. And that’s exactly how it played out.

My time at Carlyle was amazing. The opportunity to work with Carlyle's founders — among the most talented and dynamic people I have ever met — and other senior professionals was a privilege. Being CFO and working with a great team to take the company public and transition it into a great public company taught me a great deal. I was empowered at Carlyle to make a lot of important decisions for the firm, and that experience gave me wisdom and insight I don’t think I could have gotten any other way. It also enabled me to see the process of going public from the outside in — showing me what it felt like to be a listing prospect, pursued for our IPO listing. And I truly enjoyed my co-workers; it is the people there that make Carlyle a destination employer.

And while, as I had expected, I missed Nasdaq – the culture, the company, and the day-to-day, I never lost touch with my co-workers there. Through them I maintained a light, vicarious grip on the highs and lows of the marketplace and the ongoing debate over market structure.

After three years at Carlyle, I continued to find the role fulfilling and challenging, and I wasn’t looking for a new opportunity, but I did start to I realize I did not want to be a CFO forever. So when Bob Greifeld called and asked me to come back to Nasdaq and run a significant part of the business as President, it seemed not only a natural move but the right move. And with my first son heading off to college and my second nearing the same, the timing on the personal side was once again right for me to entertain new possibilities.

Once again, I was leaving a place to which I felt a strong connection, and I was saying goodbye to great people whom I really enjoyed working with during my time there. But it was clear to them and to me that the opportunity at Nasdaq was one that was really made for me. I had the chance to go back to the risk-taking side of a business after five years in a risk management role, and I had the opportunity to stretch myself once again by taking on a large, complex P&L at a company for which I have true passion. I was not running from anything – I was running to something really special, including the choice to be a good steward of the relationship between Carlyle and Nasdaq.

Can you go home again? Yes, if:

• Everyone understands why you are leaving and, while they may not like it, they ultimately support your choice
• You maintain good relationships with the company you’re leaving
• You demonstrate genuine care for the company and its culture
• You look for ways to partner with your former employer, or to refer promising employees or business partners.

I left Carlyle with many good wishes from the team, and I have continued to stay in touch with many of my colleagues there. It is fun to follow Carlyle from the outside now, as they continue to raise large funds, do great deals, and expand their footprint in alternative investing. And, of course, now Carlyle is a major client, both as a listed company and as a user of our Corporate Solutions services. I care a great deal about the relationship between Carlyle and Nasdaq, and I hope to be a good steward of that relationship going forward.