Before You Quit, Remember That Your Boss Has Feelings Too
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Before You Quit, Remember That Your Boss Has Feelings Too

In this series, professionals share all the right — and wrong — ways to leave a job. Follow the stories here, and write your own (please include #IQuit somewhere in the body of your post).

I have been on both sides of this desk. As both the quitter, and the quitted-upon, leaving is what you make it. My advice is to remember you're speaking to a person at an important juncture in both of your lives. Relationships transition while job experiences are finite.

So, if it is time for you to say goodbye, pull up a chair and discuss how to leave gracefully. It is not a time to air dirty laundry, pull out old baggage, or discuss that raise that you didn't get. Instead, it is time for two humans to map a way to part ways.

What doesn't work? In contrast, let me share three recent transitions that have not worked for me:

1). The driven outcome. Recently, I had an employee who I had mentored for two years unexpectedly call and say that November 12th would be her last day. It was not a discussion. There was no consideration of what was best for the business or our relationship. Instead, it was a short and sweet dictate: "November 12th is my last day!"

"Ouch!" I thought. My mind flashed back to the day that she begged me for a job and asked for a chance. I thought of the time that I had invested in her development, and mentoring. I wanted to take her aside and teach her to say goodbye with grace and consideration, but it was not worth the effort. She had no interest in saying goodbye well.

My advice? Never forget that there is a person on the other end of the conversation.

2) The liar. The next month, I had a different experience. My employee lied. When asked where the employee was going to work, the person lied despite knowing she was going to a competitor. I found out about it from a tweet from her boss. I thought, "How distasteful." Our relationship will never be the same.

My advice? When leaving be straight with your supervisor. If you are going to a competitor, ask for advice. Lean forward in your chair and ask, "How do I leave with grace?" You will not be the first person to go to a competitor. Be honest. Do the right thing. You'll both be better for it.

3) When you decide to move on, then move on. When you make the choice to leave, move on with your life. Your relationships with your old colleagues will change. Go forward by going forward. Redefine your relationships and get on with your life. Don't waste your time with gossip calls and rehashing of old stories. Redefine these relationships and move on with your life.

My advice? Focus your energies on going forward.

So at a high level, when moving on, move on; but, do so with grace and consideration for the other person. Say goodbye with grace and do the right thing. You will not get the opportunity to do it again... and you will not regret it!

______________________________

Lora Cecere is the Founder of Supply Chain Insights. She is trying to redefine the industry analyst model to make it friendlier and more useful for supply chain leaders. Lora has written the books Metrics that Matter and Bricks Matter, and is currently working on her third book Leadership Matters. She also actively blogs on her website Supply Chain Insights, the Supply Chain Shaman. and for Forbes. When not writing or running her company, Lora is training for a triathlon, taking classes for her DBA degree in research, quilting for her new granddaughter, and actively taking ballet.

From my personal experience, TWO WEEKS IS TOO MUCH!!! Everybody start looking at you as a traitor, as an alien, they don't care about you (except your truly friends), they treat you like if they would have never, ever, know you!! I'd say, 2 days is enough for transfering your job in a big corporation

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Linda Dulieu

Certified Dental Assistant at Dr. Rubinstein and Ducoff Inc.

9 年

I think two weeks is ample notice,pending on the rapport you have with your employer. I left a 20 plus year job, to take a daytime position with more hours and less pay.There were red flags!The company offered a sign on bonus if i only gave a week! (huh???) another red flag! After explaining to my boss i needed to spread my wings gave two weeks notice. Hated the job! My new boss was miserable ! After a week i called my boss and said i made a terrible mistake. She said i will see you tomorrow (with more hours and pay increase!! ??

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Kendra Miller, PE, PTOE

Senior Associate | Traffic Group Leader

9 年

I dont necessarily agree with the third comment. I left a state agency less than a year ago to go to a consulting firm. Instead of "moving on" as the author calls it, I use those relationships/friendships with my past collogues as a) a continued friendship and b) a way to hopefully continue to build a partnership with the two agencies. By just walking away and not continuing to stay in touch I think one can close doors and limit their network, especially in certain fields. I recently bought a house and my former boss came to town to the housewarming party. On the flip side, I drove 3.5 hours to his mother's funeral for moral support for him (as a former employee). I could understand more if one left after a negative experience, but there still has to be a way to continue a professional relationship with a former employer/employee you may not have agreed with.

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Christoph Trappe

I help companies like yours make more money through business storytelling that sets you apart from the competition. Data-Driven Content Marketer | Podcaster | Content Strategist | Author | Affiliate Marketer

9 年

The same is true during employment...

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Hire a real paper money maker 75days out from prison the best in the game any takers

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