"I promised G-d, but I don't want to keep it"

"Rabbi, I have a problem" she said. "A few years ago I was in a tough situation. I really needed G-d's blessing. So I made a commitment that if the blessing will come through, I am going to do a certain Mitzvah every day.

"The blessing happened and I was happy to keep my commitment.

She paused.

"Recently I am don't have the same excitement as I had before. Some days, I don't even want to do that Mitzvah! I feel stuck. Is there a way that you can relieve me from my commitment?"

I thought for a moment before replying. Trying to understand the deeper meaning of the question.

Then I realized something.

Usually, we associated Mitzvah with good feelings. "You just did a Mitzvah!" is something we say when someone did something really good. A Mitzvah is a good deed, something that makes us feel good and proud of ourselves.

And here she feels stuck with a Mitzvah. It's not fun, it doesn't give her good feelings, it's just a... chore. Something that she needs to do.

Is that what her relationship with G-d all about?

I looked around the room, trying to think how to reply. Then I looked at her husband who sat beside her. Both of the are wonderful and caring people.

"When you see a couple which always remains faithful to each other, what keeps them faithful?" I asked. "Is that love? The mutual attraction? The good feelings they have towards each other?

"No. It's none of the above. It's the commitment.

"Commitment comes to use when the love is not what it used to be; When the attraction is not as strong; And when the relationship is facing some serious challenge and outside temptation. Commitment is something you keep to while kicking and screaming, simply because you made the commitment".

In this week's Torah portion, we read about Yaakov leaving his homeland and heading to Charan. Rashi is telling us how at night he surrounded his head with rocks. Those rocks were not meant only as physical protection but as a spiritual one; They represent his steadfast commitment to staying connected to G-d despite leaving in a foreign land.

Commitment is a great foundation for our relationship with G-d. Obviously, we shouldn't stop there: we need to nurture it, add love and excitement. But even if commitment is all we have, we are still in a great place - we are in a relationship.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Mendy Kaminker