But I Promise

“Daddy can we get ice cream? I PROMISE.”

That was it. That was the entirety of the sentence from my little 5 year old.

“You promise what?” A logical response I thought.

“Really Dad, I promise!” She pleaded.

Oh wow. She was doubling down on the word promise, but not really focusing on what the promise was attached to. Hilarious. But also, the answer would most likely be “no”.

This became a newfound request tactic in my family for a period of time. I am sure it was birthed from one time when my daughter asked for something and promised to behave or to clean her room and the desired outcome was achieved. Light bulb. I just have to say the word ‘promise’ and I get what I want!

We laugh at this logic, but let’s look at ourselves for a minute. We have all been guilty of saying what we need to say in the moment for the desired outcome with no real authenticity behind it. This is how leaders lose the locker room. This is how children lose trust from their parents… or vice versa. This is how people in business and sales get into ruts. We stop relating and we simply start reciting.

“Here comes an objection…” we think to ourselves. “Okay when they say this, be ready to come back with the script!” And like a well mannered robot, we say the words and fail to convert. And then, instead of evaluating ourselves we get frustrated with the prospect like they’ve wronged us for turning us down.

Relational selling will always beat transactional selling. I have found we tend to get more transactional when we go through the motions and especially when we go on a no sale streak. It’s in those moments that we develop the sudden need for a sale on the very next appointment. It has to be this one! That is a lot of pressure for your prospect, and trust me they feel it.

It may be counterintuitive, but more often than not it has nothing to do with the words you are saying, rather the tone that you are saying it in. Commission breath is real, and it stinks. I recommend taking a chill pill and not worrying about the results for the next few appointments. The results will come.

Case in point? I bought her the ice cream. It had nothing to do with the words she said but simply the way she said it.