I Probably Shouldn’t Say this, BUT…
Richard A. Moran
Venture partner, author, speaker, advisor, radio personality. Lending perspective, prescriptions and personality to the workplace.
I am not holier than thou. I am not preaching. But, I wish people would stop saying the word “But.” “But” is the word most often heard before someone says something that is offensive. The words that follow the word BUT could be about someone’s appearance or hygiene or performance or car or friends. More likely, the words that follow BUT are worse. The phrasing usually goes something like this… "I probably shouldn’t say this BUT, she is really hot.” Or, “I know I shouldn’t say this BUT, he is fulfilling our diversity commitment.” Or, “I am not homophobic, BUT…” Or, “I usually don’t like people from (name the region) BUT, she is OK”.
If there is a BUT in the sentence, don’t say it. Don’t think it. If you think what you are about to say might be inappropriate, it is. The word BUT is your first clue. The boundaries of what is offensive or disrespectful have changed. Not long ago what some believed was a joke or funny is now grounds for termination. But I was only kidding doesn’t cut it. No “BUTs” about it.
The term “political correctness” does not even apply any more. A better word for use today is empathy. What we are realizing is that attitudes and sensitivities are constantly shifting and that words matter. Among all those words that can hurt, BUT might be the leading candidate.
In my opening comment I declared that I don’t want to preach and I am not holier than thou. In fact, I am probably guilty like so many others. Changing what you might say with the word “BUT” is a good step. Better yet is to change what you are thinking and how you behave without a “BUT” in it.
FA at Morgan Stanley
3 年Agreed ??- as it is, when said, what comes after a “but” is what really matters and is most truthful anyhow …
Change and Transformation Leader
3 年From "political correctness" to "empathy." Love that...truly the defining struggle of our time!
Retired Employer Brand Specialist
3 年If I probably shouldn't say it, don't. Because your first instinct is correct. Nice reminder!
VP | CMO | CEO | Corporate/Advisory Boards | Strategy | Corporate & Business Development
3 年Value added input into our use of language. Now, instead of "But", you can say "With all due respect" because Ricky Bobby told me that it was the right way to say whatever you want (grin).
I completely agree. I have made it a personal mission over the last year to improve my writing by doing everything I can to eliminate the word "BUT". It has worked. While I haven't been able to completely eradicate the word BUT, I have found that when I'm tempted to use the word "BUT" I can almost ALWAYS express myself more eloquently without it. Great post.