I optimize for good laughs with good people

Hi! My name is Bree, and I write about how to make work more joyful and less everything. This post was originally published on my Substack . Come on over and subscribe for writing fresh off the presses!

The pendulum of “fun at work” has been very busy.

From notions of “Love what you do and you’ll never work a day in your life” on one end, on over to “Work is called work for a reason!” maybe you feel your own head spinning:

• Did I choose the wrong job—or career—if I’m not having a “good time” at work?
• But doesn’t anything worth doing require struggle and sacrifice?
• Is it my responsibility to make sure my team is enjoying their work?
• But wait… don’t we pay them?
• And didn’t fun go the way of the start up ping-pong table a decade ago?
• Aren’t I supposed to be striving not for fun, but for meaning and purpose?
• But then again, it would be nice to enjoy my days at work as there are so many of them…
• Though sometimes it’s fun, right?
• But then why do I fill with dread every Sunday night…

If one or more of the statements resonated, I see you.?

I also see a very simple truth, best articulated by the author, Annie Dillard:

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

And with that truth, I come down on the side of fun. If we spend roughly one third of our life at work, I’d like that slice of my pie to be a good one. I want more than meaning, which is certainly important. I also want to be having fun. As in, I want to be laughing most days, with inspiring people who I like hanging around.?

This hit me many years ago when I went to visit my mom in an in-patient rehabilitation center after she had a complex ankle surgery. To set the scene, although my mom was early 60s at the time, she was on the spring chicken end of the clientele. To keep morale high, they would gather the patients for music performances, and on the day I was there, they had a lovely crooner reprising old Sinatra classics. After a rendition of “My Way” the singer stopped for a bit of stand-up philosophy:?

“What more could you want, looking back on life, than to have had some good laughs with good people?”

I looked around and there were so many glowing smiles and nods it almost made me weep. All these people knew this truth!?

Good laughs with good people…

But at the time that was not what I was prioritizing. I was prioritizing good impact with good metrics. Not to mention good promotion opportunities with good pay. Incidentally I did have some good days at work, and sure I liked my colleagues. But that was all secondary.

No longer. Let me be clear about my new point of view because I recognize it’s not conventional wisdom:

All I want is to spend my days with funny, creative, inspiring people who are lovely to hang around. And while we’re hanging out, a fun thing to do is create impact for others and money for ourselves.?

I am not optimizing my impact. (Though that doesn’t mean we don’t make profound impact)

I am not optimizing my income. (Though that doesn’t mean I’m not making a good income)

I am not optimizing my growth. (Though that doesn’t mean I’m not learning daily)

I am not even optimizing the meaning and purpose of my work. (Though that doesn’t mean I don’t feel it).

I am optimizing good laughs with good people. Full stop. Because that’s what I believe matters in the end, and I’m not afraid to want it.?

If this sounds like my teams are constantly sitting around chomping bubble gum and shooting darts, I can assure you, we only do that on Tuesdays.

Perhaps what I’m proudest of in my professional career is my ability to create cozy, supportive, AND very high-performing teams. Because the good people I like hanging around include our clients and we genuinely care about them and their success. And because there’s NOTHING about having a joyful team that detracts from doing brilliant work. Just the opposite!

But wait Bree… are you saying we’d all be better off if we could get rid of the work part of work and just hang out all day long? Well, maybe that would float some people’s boats, and maybe it’ll do it for me in retirement one day, but at this moment in my life, mid-career, and for many others I suspect, I’d say: No.?

Because I believe work is fundamentally good. It’s a nice way to spend our time with each other on this planet. It can make us feel alive! It can be a source of the good laughs, not just bad backs and Zoom-beaten eyes. It’s fun to build skills. It’s fun to make money. And it’s extra fun to make badass work that makes it more possible for others to enjoy good laughs with good people.

I love consulting, but I also really loved teaching high school math and being a psychology researcher and even being a hostess at a mediterranean restaurant in Pasadena when I was 23 even though Resy didn’t exist and no one counted if the number of reservations we took matched the number of tables we had.

All because I was having good laughs with good people.

You can even enjoy shoveling shit with the right co-shovelers.