I often wish my brain would shut the hell up!

I often wish my brain would shut up and take a holiday! Leave me in peace!

This is probably one of the major reasons why I drank as much as I did, as it would shut my head up for a little while, and simply allow me to just be in the moment (albeit a wobbly one).

My head, and my thinking, has ruled my life for too long, and it is clear that this can only take me so far on life’s little journey. 

Yes, thinking can be a major skill, and it certainly has done a lot for me, but not when it comes at the cost of tapping into the ‘heart’ of the matter. Thinking can also be the entrapment of the self, and it can lead to paralysis and major self sabotage.

The brain is not my friend, it is more like a powerful mercenary in my head that needs to be controlled and tamed. Without control, my brain will tear me to shreds and not give a toss about it in the process!

Thinking can get me into serious trouble, as has proved to be the case many times throughout my life. Thinking is a never ending and exhausting activity when it is not guided and tempered by the heart and the mind.

There is a simple order to this which is how I feel it should flow:

1) The heart leads the charge

2) The mind creates the beliefs and the narrative to support the heart

3) The brain executes and repeats

Too many times I have been led by this order instead:

1) The brain charges forth and executes things I don’t want or need (but it does)

2) The mind is fragmented and driven by false narratives which input the wrong instructions into the brain 

3) The heart is not considered in the equation, and it becomes buried under piles of brain rubble.

In some ways I do wear my heart on my sleeve, but in many others I have denied my hearts desires for far too long, because I have been too busy being thrashed around by an unruly brain. 

Today I choose heart over head.