I never wore bright red or pink shades of nail paint in school or college.

I never wore bright red or pink shades of nail paint in school or college. It wasn’t until my first job that I didn’t.?

Ladies at home would say that bright reds would bring more attention to my skin color. Or it would make my skin appear darker. I grew up with that.?

At my first job, when my roommate said she wanted to paint my nails red, I said no, I don’t have the skin color for it.

She said, "the only point of nail paint is for you to like its color. If you don't like red, I will not put red, but it has nothing to do with your skin or your color or anything else. Now, do you like red?"?

I do.?

And I have since then been experimenting with all possible shades. It has been 13 years now. I wear anything from pink to green to nude to yellow to red. I wear on my nails the colors that catch my eye.?

But this in itself can’t just be my story.?Millions of young girls go through this.

This means, where they are told that to fit better into society -

???? they need to lose weight

???? they need to look better

???? they need to lose those specs

???? they need to diet

???? they need to play more, read less

???? they need to use skin brighteners

???? they need to thread/ wax/ tweeze and what not

For every time in my life that I have felt?

???? A little less beautiful?

???? A little less slim?

???? A little less able?

???? A little less fair?

???? A little more blurry (specs I was told hid my eyes)

???? A little more hairy?

As a child I stammered, and that added to my aesthetic unappeal. Imagine feeling forever inadequate no matter where you looked and who looked at you.

Imagine a young girl, no more than 9 years old, worrying that when she met her parent's friends, she would be judged on not being able to spout a "I am fine, thank you", to their "How are you beta?"

I wasn't shy, I just had a stammering problem, and that overshadowed every other great thing that I could do.

And for everytime that I didn’t know any better, and I let that happen

I am hurt even today by what that little girl inside me had to feel. She felt she wasn’t enough. She felt that she failed real world tests because she didn’t match up to societal or even familial standards of beauty.

It has literally taken me all my lived life to find the confidence to accept and to enjoy who I am and what I look like.

If only this had been instilled in me from before, that I am beautiful and enough and more as I am, my life would have looked different.

I might have chosen richer ways to spend my time than worry about losing weight, gaining hair on the head, clearing up my blemishes, and messing with lenses.?

If you want to see what I bring to the table, have the courage to talk to me, to look at me, to look into my eyes.

Give yourself permission to go beyond the aesthetics.?