"I never have to be alone again": Lessons from my first 101 Focusmate sessions

***In celebration of my 15,000th Focusmate session yesterday, I used Google's NotebookLM to summarize this article in the form of an imperfect but engaging podcast .

In 2019 Chris Bailey ranked Focusmate at the top of a list of the 10 best productivity apps and, in doing so, changed my life. For me, Focusmate was love at first session because it solved a decade-long problem — getting more company in going after my goals. Specifically, if I won the lottery, I would continue promoting healthy cultures if that work gave me regular contact with ambitious coworkers. Focusmate fills my heretofore unmet need for more daily collaboration and inspiration.

It was just my second day of using Focusmate when I announced to my Lean In circle , “I’m so happy! I never have to be alone again.” Hearing this, a good friend teared up thinking I must have gotten married. Oops. I then explained that when I’m up at 3 a.m. or struggling with a challenging task, I can now log onto Focusmate and find a virtual coworker. Truth be told, my friend wasn’t far off in her interpretation since my fiancé is, in fact, a wee bit jealous of how happy Focusmate often makes me.

How does Focusmate work?

Focusmate is a website that allows people to book 25, 50 and 75-minute sessions with a randomly assigned or chosen partner who also wants to get something done at that time. These sessions can be on demand or scheduled in advance. Focusmate sessions happen over video with partners around the globe.?

After greeting each other at the start of the session, each Focusmate shares their session goal aloud. For accountability, many write their intention and updates in the chat box. During the session, partners hold each other accountable to follow through on their goal and, when the bell goes off at the end, they report on how the session went.??

My experience after 101 Focusmate sessions is that people are sincere, use the chat box when they need to leave for a bathroom break, and quickly dive into their task as the guidelines suggest. Additionally, Focusmate partners are generally friendly and clear about their preference for microphones being on or off.

Yes, Focusmate is for YOU!

If you are imagining that Focusmate is only for entrepreneurs and people working from home, it is not. A wide variety of people use Focusmate to accomplish personal and business goals that need accountability and consistent dedication over time. I've seen people do yoga, read, write, code, prepare for meetings, meditate, handle emails, create a Caribbean cruise photo album over 13 sessions (me!), study for tests, do research, take a practice driving test, and much more.?

In terms of location, most people do Focusmate sessions from home. I’ve also seen people in bustling workplaces and noisy coffee shops. I’ve also a dozen who use a treadmill desk like I do. I have also inspired many others to buy a "walking pad."

As someone who enjoys the big picture, at 101 sessions, 45% of my partners were female and 33% were located in the U.S. The 67% of my Focus mates from outside the U.S. came from 27 different countries with England, India, Canada and the Netherlands being the most frequent and with occasional partners from countries like Costa Rica, Poland, United Arab Emirates, Pakistan, South Africa, Mongolia, Japan, and Russia.

5 reasons Focusmate is a productivity miracle

• I am in a "flow state" more often. My first Focusmate partner, Darius from Romania, foreshadowed this outcome when he said Focusmate had improved his productivity by 30%. This estimate feels right for me as well.

• It’s easier to say no to interruptions and distractions now that I’ve have had more practice being focused. Although I’ve heard about people making appointments with themselves to get things done, Focusmate gives that idea structure.?
• I do important, but hard, things first (i.e. “eat the frog ”) more often now that I regularly tell my goals to Focusmate partners.
• I procrastinate less since I can do tasks I find boring in Focusmate sessions.
• I relish working toward my goals with the sight and sound of another person doing the same. As author Barbara Sher taught, “Isolation is the dream-killer, not your attitude.”?

Ten more reasons I’m smitten with Focusmate

• I get to share my passion for treadmill desks — a new concept to many.
• Video conferencing and chat box skills are now second nature.
• Focusmate founder Taylor Jacobson is an exceptional leader. Learn more about Taylor and the science behind Focusmate through this ProductivityCast podcast or this Boston Globe article .
• When Taylor Jacobson became supporter #153 of my bridging work on Patreon I both cried with happiness and laughed when I realized I was on camera with a Focusmate partner.
• I eat out of boredom less often. One day I was so engaged with my project with Focusmate partners that I didn’t eat until 1 p.m. As an early riser, the last time I forgot about eating until this late was when I fell in love with my fiancé.

• Focus mates’ podcast, book, music, and productivity app recommendations on their profiles inspire and delight me daily. Three examples are the 99% Invisible podcast, this rainy day background music , and the Beeminder app for sticking with goals (now has a Focusmate integration).
• I’m improving my knowledge of world geography and am starting to know roughly what time (and day) it is around the world during my waking hours.
• Each session ends with a chance to reflect on how I'm spending my time.?
• I love connecting with other productivity fans — in particular followers of David Allen’s GTD system and Cal Newport’s book Digital Minimalism . (Update: In 2020 I started a Getting Things Done Together Focusmate group.)
• Focusmate helps me take my dreams seriously. I gained an even greater sense of the power of this tool and this community when then Boston PhD student and poet Nausheen told me that Focusmate had saved her life. When we met Nausheen had done over a thousand sessions. I could relate even more strongly to Nausheen's experience when I was moved to tears one morning noticing that it’s a big deal for me to take myself seriously like Focusmate encourages.

Focusmate is a great fit for my community building

• Although Focusmate sessions stay on task, occasionally people find they have passions in common and want to connect later. The Focusmate Facebook community group provides a forum for further connections as well as tips on using Focusmate.

• Right away I could tell that Focusmate could powerfully support the mission of Lean In . Thus, I worked with Focusmate founder Taylor Jacobson to set up a private Focusmate group for Lean In members .

I’m a Focusmate superfan, but nothing is perfect

If it’s not clear already, I’d buy a Focusmate t-shirt in a heartbeat and my fiancé thinks I'm ready for a Focusmate tattoo. I want everyone to know about this great productivity tool. That said, everything has its shortcomings. Here are the top four weak points I’ve run into.

• From the online Focusmate Facebook community I’ve learned that a few superfans like myself can sometimes do too many sessions in one day. In my 101 sessions over 18 days, I only experienced one day that I did too much and my hips were unhappy from prolonged treadmill desk use without adequate breaks.

• Connectivity issues. Sometimes the internet connection is poor. Focusmate newbies may want to “Launch a Test Session” to check their video and audio. Hitting "refresh" to reload the page can also help.
• Even though Focusmate is an incredible community, there are always risks in working with strangers. In my case, during 1 out of my 101 sessions, I had a male partner who made a comment about my body that made me uncomfortable. In general I've found that this is rare. Focusmate has also evolved to allow "blocking" and "snoozing" partners and an option to only be matched with same gender partners.
• Focusmate is not for everyone. If your personality is such that virtual coworking is draining, you may need another tool for getting through stuff. Depending on your work style, you may use this platform in your own unique way or not at all. I’ve heard from several Focusmate partners that they view the website as introvert-friendly since the focus is not on socializing or networking.

Now that you know all about Focusmate , I hope you’ll try it out and let me know what you think. If you use this link , you can get a month of Focusmate Plus (unlimited) for free. It would be great to see you in a virtual coworking session one day.?

If you want to learn even more about my Focusmate experience, check out this presentation (video ,?PowerPoint ?and?notes ) I gave in late 2021.