I Moved Back in with My Parents at 35

It is that time of year when the weather changes. There is a cool breeze in the air, the nights are crisp, and the memories created in summer seem like a slow distant memory. Change is in the air. I have always welcomed change. I like it. It keeps me on my toes. Within a 5-year period, I have moved 11 times (I challenge you to find someone who has moved more). Every time I have moved, I have changed, and usually for the better.

I have moved again recently, but this time, I have moved back in with my parents. Yes, I am 35 and living with my parents. There is something humbling about moving into your childhood bedroom. It is not exactly an ideal situation and I am sure my younger self would be looking in horror at the state of my affairs. My current self though, she is different. See, I don’t actually mind being here and if anything, I feel grateful. I have a great deal of appreciation and gratitude to be in such a fortunate position, as my parents have opened their home to not only me and my partner but also my beloved dog, Tesla.

Tesla is the reason we moved this time. Our building was not pet-friendly and complaints started to arise from fellow tenants of the building. We decided it was best to find something more suitable. Little did we know that finding a pet-friendly place would be so hard. There aren't many pet-friendly places going and when one pops up, there are many people applying. The last 3 places we applied for we didn’t get. We decided it would be better to wait for our ideal place rather than be rushed to live somewhere we were not happy with.

It has now been a month and still, we have not found a place to move to. We took it as a sign that perhaps it was time to buy something. We could not buy something before as my partner only recently became a permanent resident. With the current property market, we thought perhaps now is a good time to buy. So, we are now actively looking to buy our home. It is exciting, nerve-racking and a lot of patience is required. Every day I log into realestate.com and sift through the listings – waiting for our dream place to come on the market. It is the first step we have taken to buy something that will be ours – our family home. They say everything happens for a reason, so perhaps we would not even be thinking about this had we not moved in with parents.

I used to think I was such a loser for not owning property by now. I think I am so hard on myself. Sydney property prices are crazy, and I totally understand the struggles young (and old) people face these days. I can honestly say, I wasn’t ready to make the commitment before, but after spending so much money renting for a good decade (most recently, $900 a week on a 1 bedroom apartment), I think it is time to take that adult step in life. I can't be hard on myself regarding the past. It is done and I did what I knew best. I could not have done anything differently. All I can do now is work towards my goal from now on.

I am sure some people will look at me moving in with my parents as failing at life. Had you told me only a few months ago I would be living with my parents, I probably would have thought the same thing. As time goes on though, I care less about what people say or think – it is none of my business anyway. All I care about is that I am happy and comfortable with my life, and I truly am. This period of my life, although unconventional, is the happiest I have ever been in my life. I totally understand the saying of ‘happiness being an inside job’. I am content with my life even though it is far from perfect. I now understand that life is a journey.

Perhaps previously my unhappiness was due to the fact that I would compare myself to others and think I was far behind. I no longer think like that now. Everyone is running their own race and I respect that. All I can do is accept where I am at and work towards my own goals, without comparison or judgment.

So, I have written this article to anyone who might feel that they may have taken a step back in their life, whether that’s taking a pay cut to work at your dream job, or ending a relationship because you know you deserve better, or even moving back in with your parents at 35. Life is full of ups and downs. I try not to judge situations as much anymore. You never know what it might lead to.

For daily posts, follow me on Instagram: @mariaantwan