"I Missed Out on a Three-Billion-Dollar Business" - Rita Davenport’s Story

My friend, Rita Davenport, is an award-winning keynote speaker, humorist, and author. She is an internationally recognized expert in the principles of success, time management methods, goal setting techniques, creative thinking, and building self-esteem and confidence.

Her careers range from social work and teaching to broadcasting and writing. She produced and hosted her own award-winning television show in Phoenix, Arizona for fifteen years, which was viewed in over 32 million homes on her cable television show Success Strategies.

In addition, she has appeared on over 200 radio and television shows, including ABC’s Good Morning America, Regis Philbin’s show, and The Sally Jesse Raphael Show. She has shared the speakers’ platform with such notables as Erma Bombeck, Art Linkletter, Og Mandino, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Tom Hopkins, Zig Ziglar, and Les Brown.

Here story will astound you. Here is it in her own words.

"Asking is the most important life skill if you want to be successful. I think we all have heard the saying you have not because you ask not. One of the speeches I give to my network marketing audiences is: Get Your Ask in Gear. Most people have such a fear of rejection they won’t ask. And if you don’t ask, the answer is always no because you have never asked. I think it’s the most powerful component of success.

I have a lot of stories where I let myself down because when I did ask, and someone said no...I didn’t keep asking. I once took no as the final answer that defined a huge missed opportunity for me. In spite of the tremendous success I’ve had as a television personality, network marketer, author, and speaker, I still have some regrets of not continuing to ask or find other people to ask when I knew I had something really good to offer.

One of the greatest examples I have of letting myself down is, years ago when I did a cooking show on TV 5, KPHO, in Phoenix, Arizona, called Cooking with Rita. I knew how popular it was, and I knew that it was something that could really be a huge hit. So, I approached the Meredith Corporation, the company that owned Channel 5, and pitched the whole idea of doing a food network: “I think a food network would be powerful. People eat three times a day. They don’t even have sex that much unless they’re weird. Will you consider doing this? It will be a great success; I just know it.” They just laughed. Their answer was no. I stopped asking.

My cooking show was really fun because I had local personalities, movie stars, and celebrity guests all the time. I had famous cookbook authors, including Julia Child, Jacques Pépin, and Wolfgang Puck. All kinds of interesting, different people came on the show as my guests. There was a live studio audience for each show, and the reception was amazing! Our ratings were fantastic. We had the top-rated local show. At the time, a great guy named Jack Clifford was general manager at Channel 3, the ABC affiliate in my city. My friends at Channel 3 used to tell me that Jack watched my cooking show every day, even though I was on a different station. “We really thought Jack had a crush on you because we weren’t allowed to disturb him when he was watching Cooking with Rita,” they said. “He would shut the door and study your show.”

So, as it turns out, Jack Clifford, the man who launched the ground-breaking channel called the Food Network, got the idea from my show, and he admitted it to me when we were both honored at the Arizona Broadcasting Hall of Fame celebration. He and I connected years after he had become a gigantic success with my idea. I told him I was proud of him and once had the same idea to do a food network. “Yeah, Rita, I stole your idea.”

I teased him, “Jack, you know the book Seed Money in Action by Jon Speller? He says you’re supposed to give something to your source of inspiration. Especially when the inspiration turns into a huge success. You know, I was making peanuts on local television at the time...maybe thirty-five thousand a year. Did you ever think about giving me a little something for the idea?”

“You’re right,” Jack said. “I should have given you something for the idea. I sold the Food Network for two hundred million dollars, and today it is valued at three billion dollars.”

So that was my three-billion-dollar idea that I let slip through my fingertips. Just because somebody at Meredith Corporation said no to me when I asked the first time. Years later, when I ran into one of the Meredith executives at a fundraising event, I told him the story. He smiled and agreed, “Boy, that was our three-billion-dollar mistake, wasn’t it?” He said it was just staggering to know they could have had it because they owned other assets like the magazine Better Homes and Gardens, and the food network would have been a perfect fit. I shouldn’t have accepted the first no. I should have kept asking.

If someone says no, it’s usually because they don’t know enough about your idea. We should not ever let that cause us to stop asking for our dream. We need to keep asking until we find the person or people who see our vision or dream and want to be a part of it. It’s amazing, if you watch children, how you can say no to them, and they keep on asking if it’s something they really want. They just keep asking and keep bugging until they wear down the resistance of the parents for that candy bar or whatever it might be until they get it. I think children dare to keep asking because they’re probably not as damaged from the previous nos that they’ve heard to give up on something. I just think that it’s the most powerful thing to see in a child!

So when somebody said no to me in my former network marketing business, I used my sense of humor for support. I’d start laughing and say, “Okay, you’re right. I’ve got to find somebody else who really needs this.” I have played all kinds of mental games when someone said no to me. One of the funniest ones that I tell people in my speeches is that, when someone says no to joining your business or buying your product, you can say to yourself, “I’m so glad to hear that because you would drag down the reputation of my entire company if you joined my business. So thank you!” In the beginning of my network marketing career, I’d say to myself when someone said no, “Heck, this was only a courtesy call. I was just being nice and sympathetic to you. Was really hoping you would say no. Now, I can mark your name off my list quickly.” I liked turning something that could potentially pull me down into something funny. This always worked for me. I teach sales clients to turn the word no around: it actually means on to the next person.

The point I’m getting to is that the nos were motivation to me. We all know every successful person has been subjected to prejudice or felt inferior. When somebody would reject my idea or my presentation or what I was going to do, that would fire me up even more. There’s one thing I had that not everybody has. I never thought I was all that talented, intelligent, or good looking, but I always had a strong work ethic. I was never lazy, and I never stopped until I achieved my dreams.

The reason people are so afraid to ask is that they’re afraid of rejection. Rejection is just part of the game. It’s in direct proportion to your success. You are going to have some rejection for sure when you ask, so you just always say, “Next!”

When my son was in the third grade, I was driving him to a skating party. On the way there, he told me he was going to ask a little girl named Nicole to skate with him. I got really nervous because you know how mamas are about their little boys. I was afraid he was going to get rejected and that it would make him weird for the rest of his life! Those little third-grade girls who wear earrings, eye shadow, and high heels at school could really hurt my little boy’s confidence! I was a scared mama thinking of how he might get destroyed by rejection if he asked this little girl to skate.

I worried the entire time he was at the skating party.

When I picked him up afterwards, I said, “Scott, how did it go?”

“Oh, it went good,” he said.

“What? Did you ask Nicole to skate with you?”

“Oh yeah, I did.”

“What did she say, Scotty?”

“Oh, Mom, she said yes.”

“Well, what if she had said no?”

Looking at me, he kind of bent his head over and flipped his hair up with his little hand and said, “Well, Mama, there are seventeen other girls in my class.”

Inside, I said to myself, “Yeah, he gets it!” If that one little girl had said no to him, there were seventeen other girls he could’ve asked to skate. He wasn’t planning his entire destiny on whether that one said yes or no. It was a proud mom moment since I teach people that when you get a no you move on to the next person. I’ll say when I’m teaching, “There are three hundred sixty million people in this country alone who have never heard of your product, so keep asking to get to the one who says yes.”

No is just part of the game; you have to play to win. It just factors in. When you get a no, it’s just kind of a test. It also tests your sense of humor. If you don’t learn to laugh when you get rejection, then you won’t even know how to appreciate it when you get a yes.

“If it’s to be, it’s up to me.” You have to tell yourself that over and over again. Whenever I back away from rejection because it creates fear in me, I remind myself that the word fear is actually:

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

When somebody disappoints me by rejecting whatever offer I might be presenting, I just ask, “Do I really want to let one person shut me down from fulfilling my destiny?” We’re sent here with a purpose and all the necessary skills and talents to fulfill that purpose, and our assignment is to develop our gifts and then to give them away. If somebody doesn’t spot your greatness, it is because they have no greatness that they are aware of, and you can’t depend on someone else’s awareness to dictate your life and your destiny. You spot it, you got it.

When somebody disappoints me by rejecting whatever offer I might be presenting, I just ask, “Do I really want to let one person shut me down from fulfilling my destiny?” - Rita Davenport

I think that people are flattered when you ask them a question. Whether it’s to sell a product to them or just because you’re interested in them. Just like I’m flattered to be asked to be interviewed for this important book. One of the best things you can do to make somebody feel good about themselves is to ask for their input or their opinion.

Many years ago, I interviewed the actor Milton Berle. Afterward, he said to me, “You are the best person who has ever interviewed me.”

“Really?” I said. “I’m so flattered! You’ve been so famous and interviewed by so many celebrity broadcasters. Why do you say that?”

“Because you listen. A lot of times somebody will ask me a question and they won’t listen to my answer, but you listen, and then you let me reflect on what I just said before you go to your next question.”

I teach people to be nicer than necessary. Part of that is to give them a compliment and to ask questions about them. This shows people you’re curious and you care. Truly, everybody wants to talk about themselves. It makes them feel flattered and respected when you want to know more about them. I’ve always thought that one of the most powerful ways to connect with people and to be successful in life or in work is to ask questions. It has always worked for me!"

Ask the right person the right question:

“Does your dog bite?”

“No.”

Man pets dog, dog bites him.

“I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!”

“It doesn’t. That is not my dog.”

—Peter Sellers

If you want to know what I feel are the 21 MOST important questions to ask to attract money and happiness, click here.

Enjoy!

Mark