I messed up the interview!

When I was looking for attachment, I was specific about organizations with whom I wanted to do my industrial attachment. With that in mind, I listed down about five (5) institutions and I dropped my CVs accordingly. As if reading my mind, I scored interviews with three of these institutions. Man! Happy is an understatement, I was beyond thrilled………..I prepared and prayed as much as I could for the interviews until I was confident I was going to ace them all.

Unfortunately I did not make it at two of these institutions…this was not just an ordinary failure because these were on my top list. To say I was heartbroken would be an injustice to the pain I went through. You know how it is when you have high expectations, the disappointment is just too big to contain as they say that falling from the rooftop makes louder noise and bigger, painful scars as compared to falling from a ground level. As if that was not enough, the other institution where I had conducted my first interview ghosted me and never got back to me within a month as they had promised.

I began to question my intellect; my confidence went from a straight 100 to a negative infinity. “Maybe it’s because of the way I was dressed, who wants to associate themselves with a shabbily dressed employee?” I kept looking for possible reasons. Did I tell you that I had borrowed clothes for my first interview? Well, I had borrowed them, so I thought that maybe they were not fitting enough or probably it was evident that they did not belong to me. “I am a failure, how dare you Pyno think of even getting a spot at such big institutions? Do you see now what happens, when you are too ambitious? I am not smart enough, not classy enough, I don’t measure up, I probably was embarrassing”; all these thoughts consumed my tiny head, further shrinking my confidence to the size of a mustard seed.

Interviews were not an issue for me, I got several of them but I had set too high a bar for myself to climb down. After waiting long enough for the other two institutions on my list to come through, I decided to take the next attachment place I would get on the next interview. As if on a cue, I got an attachment at a big organization, though it was not on my list. To be honest I was not enthusiastic about it, but I did my best while there. Two months down the line, I was called by that institution I indicated ghosted me to come and sign a contract (I will call it institution C). Finally! Thrilled? Excited? You would expect me to be in cloud nine (9) after waiting for so long but NO, I was confused! I had built a good working relationship with the team I was working with (the relationships extended beyond the attachment period) and I loved the working experience. Nevertheless, I left this institution, albeit a grieving heart. Fast forward, I then got a scholarship to fund my final year studies from institution C. Moreover, I also built relationships, which are still in place to date.

Why am I even narrating this story? Just to let you know that sometimes “WHAT WE CONSIDER AS A NO FROM GOD, MAY BE RATHER A NOT NOW or NOT THIS, child”. Moreover, not every NO is a cause for dismay, some Nos are there to ensure and pave way for us to be where we are supposed to be. In my experience, I thought that I had set unrealistic goals …I thought God was saying NO to me when rather concerning the two (2) institutions where I did not make it, He was just saying NOT THIS daughter and regarding Institution C, He was saying NOT NOW child.

Now, looking back, I realize that had I gotten placements at either of the first 2 institutions, I would not have gotten the scholarship for my final year studies (I was literally struggling with fees). This taught me that everything works out together for the good to those who love God [Rom 8;28]. In my mind, I had it all planned out…I had heard rumors about the most paying institutions in my industry and I needed funds to clear outstanding fees as well as pay for my final year studies so if I scored a placement at the top 2, I would be able to finish my undergraduate studies without debt (so I thought). Little did I know, that God had other plans for me just to show me that His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are above ours [Isaiah 55:8-9].

As I reflect over this experience, I have also realized that YOU CAN BE EXCELLENT & STILL NOT CHOSEN. That doesn’t mean you are a failure, neither are you inadequate, YOU WERE JUST NOT WHAT THEY WERE LOOKING FOR. In most cases, the selection criteria used does not reflect on you more than it reflect on the one choosing. This applies to various aspects of our lives be it a job interview, relationships, friendships, contests you name it. Although you may not be what this particular person or organization is looking for, trust me someone or organization is looking for exactly what has been disqualified by this first party. Whilst I hadn’t been chosen by the first 2 institutions, I finally got accepted by other 2 institutions and got beyond just a job but a scholarship and valuable networks. I wasted time beating, blaming, condemning myself over what was not in my hands simply because I had lost an interview instead of just trusting God. If anything, this incident taught me to TRUST GOD with what is beyond my control as long as I would have done my best. [Prov 3:5-6]

Another thing, NEVER LET EXTERNAL FACTORS DETERMINE YOUR IDENTITY rather no matter the circumstances LET WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT YOU BE YOUR TRUE IDENTITY. You may have failed an interview but that does not make you a failure, neither does it mean you are worthless. Rather always remind yourself that you have a sound mind [2 Tim 1:7]. Also DO NOT BE AFRAID TO DREAM, SET THOSE GOALS, do your part and watch God bringing the to reality.

As I conclude, I just want to stress that NO EXPERIENCE IS A WASTE. Whatever that God permits to happen in your life has value and is for a purpose. You may not understand it at the time of occurrence but sometimes it will be God working certain personality attributes within you, for me it was patience, trusting God as well as humility but above all TRUSTING GOD. I wanted to rush God to do what I wanted, yet God was saying “lest you forget that whatever you have, is because I have given you, whatever you are it’s because IAM”…He wanted me to Trust Him fully. He wanted me to rely on Him not my intellectual abilities; He wanted me to be humble enough to know that I was not infallible. [Exodus 13-17-18]. For you, it maybe for a different purpose altogether but find comfort in the knowledge that even in the valley of shadow of death He is with you [Psalm 23:4]

WHATEVER HAPPENS, TRUST GOD. TRUST THE PROCESS.