“I may look fake but I’m real where it counts.” -Dolly Parton

I was with a friend the other day who shared a story about Peter Warwick, a former NFL player. Peter was a rookie and my friend, Marco, was the captain of the team. Peter was wearing gold chains, a gold watch, and other flashy accessories. Marco was concerned that Peter was going to blow all of his money on bling and other frivolous things. Marco was sitting in the back of the team’s plane when Peter got on and called him over and said they had to talk. He asked him what was up with all the spending. Peter leaned in and said to Marco, “this isn’t real”. Marco smiled and said, “Peter,you’re going to be okay. It’s what is inside you that counts more than the outside.”

I think back to the year 2008 when my business was riding high...we didn’t miss a step and then all of a sudden in the middle of the year, nothing was going right. My team and I lived on pins and needles. We felt paralyzed. We still had a decent year, but I was concerned that there was a lack of appreciation. I had the thought that my team needed to see the other side of life.

I’m very involved in the charitable world, specifically Jewish philanthropy, so I decided to reach out to a good friend at UJA. I decided to take my team to a food pantry and homeless shelter in Brooklyn, NY. We delivered food to those in need and our last stop was where we could talk one-on-one with the people in the shelter.

When we arrived at the food pantry, my team was prepared to pack bags. Who knew that a bunch of business people who could make a pretty great and organized spreadsheet couldn’t sort through the non-perishables and put them into bags efficiently! After this, we went on a delivery run, which went well and my team really appreciated the moment.

Next, we all drove over to the homeless shelter and were introduced to two people who spoke beautifully about their lives. One was a woman who had 2 sons and she spoke courageously and shared her story about how she ended up in the shelter. Her sons depleted her bank account and left her destitute, but despite all of this, you could tell she was a proud woman. The other speaker was a gentleman, who was an engineer by trade and was sending all his money to his family. He lost his job and couldn’t find another one and that was how he ended up there. He was also a proud man. They then took us on a tour of their rooms.

We returned to the bus and everyone spoke about what they had just witnessed. I was blown away with their comments. One person said that they were going back tomorrow with another employee and using some of their bonus to buy them new comforters, pillows, and sheets. The next person said they’re committed to finding a cause that they care about. Another said he realized how precious life is and shared how he was one paycheck away from this happening to him. The last one to speak was the representative from UJA and she reflected on how wonderful it was to see a business that recognizes that they have to do more.

I think about my my life and how I want to represent myself on the outside. Truthfully, it’s all about your inside. Stop thinking about buying the fancy watches, cars, and homes. If you can afford these things, that’s great...enjoy them on your own time. We live in a world where we need to learn better lessons and give back. Stay in touch with your inner self.