I love you phone. But it's over. It's me, not you.

Ever fallen into the trap of believing multitasking is a productive way to get through your workload? Our minds struggle with two demanding thoughts at the same time, and when we jump from one thought or task to another, as our phones would have us do, we actually rob ourselves of the practice of deep thinking – which no surprise, can influence our capacity for effective problem solving and cognitive performance.

Eager to kick-off a beach holiday and the important work of sipping cocktails, I trawled the bookstore for a vacation-friendly read. Approaching the cashier with chosen novel in hand, I was thrown off course by a book cleverly-poised at the counter. Mostly, it was the title that caused the diversion: How to break up with your phone, Catherine Price. 

Shucks! Was this a toxic relationship I needed to get out of? Was it time to break up with my phone?

Uh…no. I had no intention of spending less time with mine – our relationship was solid. I was curious though and decided to give the book a chance. Bemused, I abandoned the other novel. 

Working through the pages on a 7-hour road trip to the east coast, I quoted lines to my indulging husband. I was reminded of some thought-provoking realities (Price, 2018):

• Smartphones are artfully engineered to manipulate us (and our brain chemistry) to spend more time with them. Not unlike slot machines. They’re quite persuasive!
• Steve Jobs and Bill Gates have in the past limited their childrens' screen time. They know things…echoing Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones.
• The feel-good chemicals (dopamine) that fuel addiction are released and activated when we check our phones. It tricks us into feeling happy and triggers a craving for the experience over and over again. Reality check - when you see someone else check their phone, do you feel compelled to do the same? I know I do.
• Those of us hanging out on free apps such as Facebook and Instagram have become the hunted. These apps are free and enticing because advertisers pay for them – and our eyeballs are valuable. It’s big business and our attention span is fair game.

Given the chance, our phones elicit an addictive behaviour that is hard to kick. But only when we allow it. They also bring us much joy, a sense of safety (I won’t travel anywhere in Africa without it) and efficiency…so, it’s really just a case of being aware of the addictive properties and their effects, and then staying in control of what we allow ourselves and our kids to get hooked on.

Lean thinkers are excited by neuroplasticity and talk a lot about brain malleability, our capacity to learn new habits, carving fresh pathways in the brain and making space for better ways of thinking and acting. This can work both ways though. We can practice new, helpful habits until they become second nature, or we can get stuck in a rut of bad habits that do us no good. 

In a distracted, busier-than-ever world, phones (with our permission) have the power to alter thinking patterns as we flit from one screen, advert, email, snap, story, game, post or comment to another, essentially encouraging what Cal Newport explains in his book Deep Work, as shallow work. These are the ‘noncognitively demanding, logistical-style tasks, often performed while distracted.’ Ever fallen into the trap of believing multitasking is a productive way to get through your workload? Our minds struggle with two demanding thoughts at the same time, and when we jump from one thought or task to another, as our phones would have us do, we actually rob ourselves of the practice of deep thinking – which no surprise, can influence our capacity for effective problem solving and cognitive performance. Even as we simplify processes, take out unnecessary variety and gain economies of repetition, we see a shift in productivity. But, the more we multitask, the more difficult it becomes to think deeply and clearly, potentially damaging attention span and degrading memory (Newport, 2016). 

So, perhaps I did need to relook at my phone and our relationship after all and start questioning a few things. Was my phone (or other such culprits) teaching my brain the art of diversion? Was I allowing it to stealthily mould me into a shallow thinker, where I would unknowingly take the easier thought path? Was I inviting sleep pattern invasion with late-night screen binging? It’s risky business when we fall into a perpetual state of distraction, don’t you think? I had to be honest and come clean about the situation - it wasn’t the phone’s fault. This was on me. I had to change the behaviour if I wanted to be in control of what I do with my time and what stuff I get done. 

Many of us have become astute ball jugglers. I veer off course at times, but I like to think I’m getting better at splitting my time and pursuing that magical, elusive state called ‘work-life harmony’. It’s tough, but there are routine design tricks that can help. Putting a tight leash on social media spend is part of it. I’d love to hear yours, but here are some tricks that have helped me become a better juggler:

• NO. Sometimes we have to say ‘no’. And that’s okay. Taking on too many balls could mean fewer tasks are completed well. Overburden (or Muri as lean thinkers like to call it) is not an achievement. I will talk about ‘optimal anxiety’ in a later article because I believe there is an anxiety sweet spot we should get to know better.
• Leader Standard Work. I couldn’t survive a day without it. These are the daily, weekly and monthly routines that help drive behaviours and inch us forward in the right direction towards our North Star. How does your day look? During my day, I specify when I’m ‘allowed’ to hang out on social media and institute strict times when I close up the computer and give the family my full attention. Be brutal. Align your activities with strategy but also make it work with your personal work-life goals. We are human beings with whole-person goals.
• Support and develop your team to tackle their problems so that you’re sharing the workload of change with them. It’s good for them, for you and your customers. 

Technology is a wonderful, necessary enabler. Just be sure it works for you, and not against you. If you have a healthy, symbiotic relationship with your technology, you’ll go far as a couple.

References: How to break up with your phone, Catherine Price, 2018; Deep Work, Cal Newport, 2016