I Love You, But Not Our Relationship
Bianca Thomas, LMHC
??Licensed Mental Health Counselor ??Director of Evolve Ventures Therapy ??Speaker
Love is one of the most cherished things that we know and feel as human beings. There is nothing written about, sung about, dreamed about, and cried about than love. Human beings have a deep need for love, belonging, being needed, cherished and understood by others; but because this is something we all deeply long for, too many people end up in relationships that are less than their ideal, less than what they truly want, and many never leave or end those relationships.
We may truly love this person, but our deepest needs are not met because we are more attached to the idea of being in a relationship than the actual relationship itself, causing us to deny or reject the flags and signs that have been screaming at us all along.
This need for love and belonging keeps us stuck in relationships that are unfulfilling, and our fear of never finding what we actually want and need causes us to distort the thoughts and feelings that we know are true, but cannot allow ourselves to admit. In many cases, we love the person, but we do not love the relationship.?
So, what are we to do; how do we get our needs truly met and find the aligned relationships we have been longing for? The first aspect of this is courage. You need to have the courage and vulnerability to admit what you actually want, and that this relationship you are currently in does not meet that.
The second, is to become the kind of person who is capable of attracting that kind of person into your life. We don’t “find” love, we don’t “find” someone who meets our needs, we become the kind of person who embodies the qualities we want in a partner, and along that journey, because YOU are growing, becoming more and better, you will attract a person into your life who is doing the same.
We attract what we are, and if you want more, you have to become more. You don’t have to settle for empty and unfulfilling connection anymore, you can have love, pure love, it just requires a little courage, and a little change.
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