I Love You, Joanie Baby

In this week’s installment of one love, one hate, and a hmm, we begin by talking about my BFF, Joan of Arc.

Oh, how I love her, so much so that I’ve stolen the words right off her sword to be the motto of my 美国纽约大学 - 斯特恩商学院 class, Becoming You , and, no small thing, my own life too.

?? I am not afraid. I was born to do this. ??

We are never afraid when we are living our purpose. That is, in fact, one way we know we are living it.?

Yes, we might feel overwhelmed, because it feels very big, what we’re doing. But almost invariably, our purpose gives us what we’ve always longed for: momentum, exhilaration, and self-belief.?

A certain fearlessness.

I want that for you! That’s what the Becoming You method is all about. It’s what Becoming You gave yours truly with the work I am doing now, at last. Thank you, Joanie Baby! I loved visiting you (once again) this week at The Metropolitan Museum of Art , as I often do. I’m sure no one thinks it’s odd when I pose in front of her, as shown. Because #NewYork. And also #JoanPeople. I am both. But if you can only be one, pick the latter.?

Purpose > Just about anything.

Onto my hate this week. By the way, if you’re very astute and you noticed that I wrote about ?? two ?? loves last week and just one this week, you’re right. But I want to keep these newsletters short enough that you will read them!?

So, it is 9 degrees outside at the moment. I bet where you are, it’s cold too. For God’s sake, it snowed in New Orleans this week. I can’t stand it. CANNOT. But guess what, I can connect weather to values. I can, watch!

What do you think about when it gets cold? How much you loathe scraping the ice off your car windows every year, but can’t ever escape it – because you love your hometown too much? If so, you are exhibiting the value of PLACE, which is a reflection of how important a specific location is to you. The poster-person for high PLACE is the author Fran Lebowitz, who, when asked, “What’s in New York that makes people want to live here?” famously (and snarkily) answered, “What’s in New York? What’s not in New York?” Curious about the poster-people for low PLACE, the desire to not be tied down to one location ever-ever? Just go to your local social media platform and search for #vanlife. There they are, and in all their glory. Do you envy them, or are you mystified? Your answer is a good PLACE indicator.?

As for me, I hate the cold because in the darkness of night, I start to get frantic about the cats and dogs left outside by careless owners, and the farm animals who often must survive the night only with each other’s body heat to keep them warm. This cold-induced fretting is part-and-parcel of my deeply held value of RADIUS, a reflection of how much you want your life to impact systemic change, in my case animal cruelty. I happen to be high on Radius, but not everyone is, and there’s no good or bad about it. The only point with values, in terms of Becoming You, is to know your own with clarity, and find a life that matches them authentically.

By the way, make sure to keep your pets inside as much as possible until this nonsense ends! And while you’re at it, think about how the cold makes you feel, and what it might tell you about yourself.?

My hmm this week comes from a woman who DMed to ask a mind-bender, which is when you should ?? not ?? use Becoming You in your life.

There are two answers. One, when you know you are already in your Area of Transcendence, happily living your purpose. (Like Joan!)

The other is when you are in survival mode, because of life circumstances. Someone you love is sick. You need to pay off a loan. You’re going through a divorce. All of the above.

In such moments, it is perfectly OK to take your eyes off the horizon and look at your feet to make sure one is moving in front of the other. And not just “perfectly OK,” it is highly recommended.

Life happens, and sometimes just making it through a rough season is the best you can do. Just don’t stay there, in the chaos of default mode, any longer than you have to.

I’ll be waiting for you on the other side.

(P.S. For more on Becoming You and survival mode, and for my own story of living in default all too recently, you can check out this week’s podcast.)

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