I Love Me, I Love Me Not

Hey World Changers! How are you on this week that started full of hearts on timelines, and wedding proposals, destination weddings, and pink stuff? Are you in the mood…for gratitude? Heyyy, what did you think I was going to say? ??

This Valentine’s Day, while there were lots of flowers and a considerate Surf-n-Surf (instead of Surf-n-Turf) dinner which perfectly matches what I love, and shows me my people truly get me, I found myself more enamored by what was already in my head, in my heart, and in my hands. I found myself feeling extremely grateful for all that I have done for me.

What do I mean? While we can get a “what-have-you-done-for-me-lately” attitude when it comes to the day of love, how often do we look to ourselves for appreciation? When was the last time you took a vacation (whether you surfed the waves or the couch)? I know for some of us, the pandemic has made taking time off challenging, problematic or seemingly not worth it at all. That said, do you need to book a ticket to give yourself a break? What do you really need? How can you show yourself some love?

Know Thy Self

First, it would help to know just what it is that you want. Be honest, not what are you “supposed to” want, but what do you really want? It’s not just about what you do for a living, but what do you do for a life? What gives you energy? What could you do without ever getting tired? What do you do when you want to hype yourself up? What could you talk about with no preparation and still knock it out of the park?

I have a client whose mother was in law enforcement, so she naturally followed a similar path and decided to go to law school. Makes sense, right? Maybe, maybe not. There is evidence to suggest she would have been a kick-ass attorney. However, something else was preparing itself for her. She had to do some real inside work to determine whether the version of herself that wanted to be a prosecutor is serving the version of herself that is pursuing entrepreneurship in media. Turns out there is a connection, but it doesn’t involve her ever filing a briefing in front of a judge or sending anyone to jail.

-??????Go at your own pace

You have to be comfortable in your own skin, and that skin has to be tough enough to weather all of the “when are you going to let that go”, the “you’d be great at (enter thing you’d rather die than do)” and every “oh is that what you’re doing” of the naysayers and opinionated people whose aforementioned skin is not in the game.

You Are Worthy

I know we all see the “I am enough” quotes and memes and that might make you feel good for a few minutes. How many times do you look for proof though? If you need receipts, get someone in your corner to remind you of how freaking awesome you are. Love yourself enough to only let people who raise you up, hold up a mirror for you. The people you let in should be VIPs, stop giving everybody a press pass.

If you don't truly believe you are enough, you are not loving yourself right. If you don't love, respect, and admire all the fire ?? you have been bringing out in these corporate streets, no one else will. Are you projecting a sense of completeness, or are you asking others for validation? Walk worthy into every room you enter. Know that you are enough because you are. Yes, "I am" is a complete sentence. How do you determine what is “enough”?

-??????Avoid comparisons

Know that you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. No one is perfect, and anyone who claims to be is showing how lacking they truly are. Your competition should be previous versions of yourself, not the Instagram version of someone you think has everything you want.

Instead of comparing yourself to someone else, focus on why you do what you do. What about the way you do it makes you different, what it feels like to give your best, and who benefits the most from the service you offer your corner of the world. We give because it feels good. It's nice to be valued, acknowledged, wanted. So give your light to those in the dark. A person dying of thirst in the desert isn't going to ask for your resume when you bring them cool water. If you have value, give it don't second guess it. Play the part that makes you feel good, not the part others want you to play. It's ok to do what you love.

Do More of What You Love

No excuses. No apologies. No explanations. Do what you love. Lean into your zones of joy and genius, and you will feel more motivated, more inspired, and more fulfilled. When you are doing what feels good, you are more productive. When you are more productive you feel worthy, when you feel worthy, you feel you have a purpose. That's all we really want right to know we have a purpose and that we aren't wasting our time.

-??????Time Well Spent

Time INVESTED in you is never wasted, never truly spent. When you put yourself first, when you truly love the person you are becoming, you will never spend again. You will invest your time, invest your money, invest your energy into people and experiences that serve you. Make decisions that put you first, use language that does not diminish you. I'm talking to you "I'm sorry" Sally, you "Trying" Trina, and you "I just" Jessica. Stop It.

Know thyself, walk worthy, and do what you love. It is possible, more importantly, it is necessary for your career, business, and life to be a little in love with yourself.

With Gratitude,