I Lost Control

I lost control of my emotions tonight. I watched the situation unfold before my eyes but I couldn't stop myself.

In a past life, I would have spiraled out of control. That could have ended up way worse. But I got it out of my system relatively quickly and recomposed myself.

When I had a moment to physically walk out of the room, my system did a hard reboot. I found myself laughing as I walked back into the room because I could see the ripples of my actions reverberating through everyone else.

I knew that no matter how I felt, it wasn't worth it. NOTHING positive came from that experience. It did NOT make me feel better to lash out as I did. I CERTAINLY did NOT make the situation any better, only worse lol

It was a really beautiful reminder.

It's just not worth it

No matter how angry, upset, or (insert any negative emotion here) I feel, it is not worth it to act on those emotions. It is not worth it for our actions to be influenced by those feelings because they only breed more of the same. Then you get stuck.

Acknowledge the emotions. There is much that can be learned from them later but rarely any good that can come from them in the moment.

Acting on my anger and frustration only dug me into a deeper hole. Reflecting on them now enlightens and empowers me. It fortifies me even more for the next time a similar situation occurs. Until eventually I forget and once again lose control. The cycles are inevitable, we are only human and it is a natural law of the universe. However, acknowledgment and reflection can allow us to leverage them in the right way so that we continue to move in a positive direction.

I spent a good portion of my life digging myself into an emotional hole. I'm grateful I got perspective on my emotions and how they impact me. But more importantly, I developed the awareness and ability to control them. I'll gladly spend the rest of my life digging in the opposite direction : )

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