I know Networking SHOULD BE my priority… But Networking is just NOT my Thing

Picture this: 

You’re sitting at your desk drinking your coffee and ding — you receive an email inviting you to attend a networking event from a popular industry group. 

Does this go through your mind next?

Do I really need to go to this networking event? I’m not sure if it’s worth it. The last time I went to one of their networking events, I stood around awkwardly and eventually talked to some random sales guy from Australia who happened to be standing next to me. It was pleasant enough… I have always wanted to go to Australia… I got his business card, BUT, we never ended up communicating after that. I ended up leaving shortly thereafter so I could get home at a decent time and unwind. Should I go again? It’s cold outside. I don’t feel like it. 

Photo by Mia Baker on Unsplash

This describes many of our individual experiences and thoughts when it comes to traditional networking. 

1. It can be painfully awkward (especially if you’re an introvert).
2. It can feel like a waste of time (especially if you’re a high achiever and hold yourself accountable for being highly productive and you don’t feel like you are getting any RESULTS out of it).

So if we do NOT ENJOY networking and we feel it’s a WASTE of our time — why would we do it? Because if this is your experience after networking consistently, you are doing it ALL WRONG. 

Networking, when approached correctly, can be FUN, ENERGIZING and pay you back in DIVIDENDS when you least expect.

Consider this quote by Robert Kiyosaki, world-renowned businessman and author of some of my favorite books on personal finance “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” and “The Millionaire Next Door.”

Step 1 - Let’s Reframe Networking 

Certain things we picture in our minds as “sleazy” because they seem inauthentic and forced. Attending networking events is one of those things that mentally conjures up sleaziness because so many people treat it that way. It is time to reframe it.

Let’s replace the word “networking” with “finding our community.” 

A community provides you with a feeling of association with like-minded people with similar interests, goals, hobbies and attractive personalities; it could possibly mean living in the same area, or working in the same industry. Being part of a community makes us feel safe and gives us a sense of belonging.

Being part of a community is the goal of networking — not attending events. Events are simply meant to make it easier to find and connect with your community.

Approach networking with the mindset that you are finding your community. This mindset shift suddenly makes networking seem not only positive — but a necessity.

Step 2 - Let’s Broaden our Definition of Networking Beyond Traditional Networking Events

What is traditional networking? It is attending industry events, symposiums, breakfast or lunch panel discussions, industry happy hours, etc., to expand your contacts. 

Firstly, time is your most precious resource. So make sure that when you accept an invitation to a traditional networking event, you actually genuinely want to be there and decline all the rest.

Even after you carefully choose which events to attend, in the end you never really know whether any individual event will result in an immediate “pay off” or not. 

Remind yourself that you are finding your community — not looking for surface level relationships. You have to play the long game. Consistently show up ready to give more than you take if you want to make meaningful connections.

Photo by Antonino Visalli on Unsplash

Beyond traditional networking

As a non-golfer, I always wondered why people constantly advised me - Jennifer, you need to learn to play golf, because that’s where business is done. It was because those people love to play golf and they’d rather do their business on the golf course any day of the week than in the office.

And while it may not be the golf course for you, it may be your yoga studio. While it may not be the yoga studio for you, it may be the high school STEM symposium where you volunteer. You get the idea. The places where you go to practice your hobbies that you are passionate about are also places you network with like-minded people that may eventually benefit you socially or professionally.

Finally there is social media. Ignore anyone who tells you not to accept invitations from people you don’t know online under any circumstance. Those people have been residing under a rock since the early 2000s. On LinkedIn, it is standard practice for people you do not know but are in your space, to reach out to you to connect... And if there is potential mutual benefit in connecting, there is no harm in doing it. You have probably noticed that LinkedIn is the place for more effective networking and works for anyone who cares to use it and engage. LinkedIn is a powerful platform for networking across your industry. It’s not just a place to post your resume and find a new job anymore. 

Step 3 - Don’t Forget About the Network You Already Have

In a previous company, I used to joke that there were so many people leaving my company to join new companies that I didn’t need to go anywhere to network. 

All joking aside — there is actually truth to the statement. You already have a network and a reputation with people you worked with in the past and today. You also have other networks outside of work and socially and online right now. Nurture all your existing friends and colleagues and call them to check in and see how they are doing every once in a while. Be there for them. I promise you they will be there for you when you need it. 

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Networking is Important

My strong network has always expanded my opportunities beyond what I thought possible. My career and my industry fulfill me more meaningfully when I connect with new, interesting people and connect with trusted, long-time colleagues and dear old friends. 

By reframing networking as finding a community, we make it more human. We can turn it from a chore to something that actually enriches the quality of our lives. 

If this resonated with you or changed your mind about networking, I always appreciate your feedback when you like, share or comment.