I Just Rejected a Prospect

I received a consult questionnaire a few days ago from a 52-year-old woman, 5'4", 215 lbs. She was referred by her neighbors across the street. The woman of that house (in her 60's) lost 40 pounds with me a couple years ago and still looks amazing; both her sons, 34 and 38, lost 82 and 29 pounds, respectively.

I called her.

She told me:

She hasn’t tried to lose weight in 7 years, last time with Weight Watchers. Lost 20 pounds but gained it all back when she stopped because (a) she was very busy; (b) she didn’t want to go to meetings; and (b) she didn’t want to “write everything down that I ate.”

I told her:

? She gained her weight back because even 7 years ago she needed to lose 75 pounds, not 20.

? She will?have to make and keep weekly appointments with me.

? She will?have to use portion control.

? She will have to menu-plan in advance and not simply record as she goes along.

She told me she doesn’t want to lose 75 pounds (to be 140). She only wants to be 160.

I told her she needs to be 140 before I would put her on Stabilization and Maintenance, and that 140 was conservative because I'd be attempting to maintain her at 145 (the low end of "overweight" on the BMI chart). For comparison, I am almost 16 years older than her, 5'5" and 135-140 every week.

She told me she will look “too skinny” at 140.

I asked, "How would you know?"

Silence.

I told her that had she never gained excess weight, she would now BE at 140-145 (or less!) and, in that case, whatever face she would now have would be the only face she and everyone around her would ever have known!

Silence.

I then said that, at least at this time, we’re not a match. She needs to own up to the reality of where she is and where she needs to be, and not what she’ll “settle” for.

Oh, did I forget to mention that she has hypertension and had a pulmonary embolism last year?

This woman has all the classic signs of the kinds of clients I avoid like the plague:

?? In denial.

?? Does all the talking, none of the listening.

?? Has all the answers; is a know-it-all.

?? Wants results but unwilling to do the work.

?? Tries to browbeat me into compromising my program to fit their wants.

Rejected.

It's a beautiful thing!

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