I just needed a place to stay...

So this is a statement a friend of mine made when referring to why he stayed with his girlfriend at one point in their relationship. It is not something I think he would say he is proud of, but at the time it was a real and practical reason he stayed in that relationship. You can think what you want about him, but I would ask you, how many of you have stayed in a relationship - personal or professional - because of a similar reason?

There are 3 types of commitment in the Organizational Commitment literature and every semester I read these descriptions to my class (an Organizational Behavior class at Georgia State University - J. Mack Robinson College of Business ):

Normative Commitment - A desire on the part of an employee to remain a member of an organization because of a feeling of obligation

Continuance Commitment - A desire on the part of an employee to remain a member of an organization because of an awareness of the costs associated with leaving it

Affective Commitment - A desire on the part of an employee to remain a member of an organization because of an emotional attachment to, and involvement with, that organization

Before reading this list I ask students to write down all the reasons they stay at their current jobs (most of my students have at least a part time job while in school - yes, they are awesome and you should hire them but that is a topic for another article...). As they are students, most of their reasons fall into the normative or continuance such as "they are flexible with my school schedule", "it is close to school/home" or "my friend's mom got me the job and I don't want to let her down". All of these reasons will keep my students at their jobs and I completely understand their reasoning. Of course, this also means most of them will leave when they graduate. These are meant to be part-time roles that serve a need.

I often also try and relate concepts we talk about in a professional setting to a personal setting as this is more "real" to students. So next I ask students to think of a significant relationship in their lives - it may be a significant other, partner, family member, friend - it can be any relationship as long as it is significant. Then I ask them to write down the reasons they stay in this relationship (and tell them they won't be sharing these with anyone, so be honest). Once they are done, I ask them which type of commitment is at play in the relationship, and how would THEY feel if they knew someone was staying in a relationship with them for that reason.

To bring this idea home, I take them through a couple examples as follows. I will say,

"If I asked your significant other or best friend why they stay in a relationship with you, and their answer was 'Because I have an emotional attachment to them - they make me feel loved and heard and we have a ton of fun together'. How would you feel?" Most people like that one.

Then I say

"What if they said 'Because she has been there for me for a long time so I feel like I owe her'." People like this one much less, but understand it.

And then I say,

"What if they say 'I just need a place to stay...?""

That is typically followed by sheepish grins, nervous laughter and some gaping mouths. NO ONE wants to know someone is with them because of the costs associated with leaving them. Likely because we know eventually they will find another way to satisfy those costs, or in other words, they will leave. Just like my friend did once he got a job that would pay enough for him to afford his own place.

What is my point?

To leaders

1. Do you know why people stay in your organization?
2. If yes, and it is for any reason others than an emotional attachment to it, they will likely leave.
3. For anyone you want to keep, I'd look into what you can do to have your employees committed to you for the right reasons.

To my network (including leaders, but everyone else too)

1. Do you know why you are staying at your current organization?
2. If it's not because of an emotional attachment, why are you still there?

We all deserve to be in happy healthy committed relationship with our workplaces. If someone has made you believe you should settle for less, I am here to tell you they are wrong. Find a place you can grow and thrive and experience joy at work, and leaders, hire those people! The Michaelis Group