I just don't have time to...

In the summer of 2017 I was writing my book to a very tight deadline amidst being a parent, keeping my business running and life in general(which tends to be busier today for all of us than ever before). As an outlet to help me think and stop me going completely bonkers I decided that I needed to run every day. This was great until one day I made the very bonkers decision to take the dog with me. She pulled me over, it hurt but I didn’t think much more of it. I didn’t after all have time. Although it kept hurting, I kept running every day – strapping my ankle tighter and tighter.

After a few weeks I had no choice but to see my physio on the fourth session announced that I needed to see a specialist. This required an appointment with the GP, the specialist himself, further appointments to have x-rays and MRI and yet another appointment to find out the results. By this time, it was October of 2017.

The consultant said that I’d snapped a ligament and needed surgery which would be followed by a ‘long slow recovery’. But – you guessed it, I didn’t have time for that.So instead I continued with life, went on two snowboarding trips and continued to try to exercise on and off. Still in pain by April 2018 I realised that maybe I should get something done. I found the best specialist in London thinking he may give me a different opinion - but a snapped ligament is a snapped ligament. Alas – I still needed surgery and “should expect a long slow recovery”.

This however I really didn’t have time for. I was told that the first 6 weeks I’d been in a cast and not able to drive. So, once again I put it off. By October 2018 I conceded that something needed to be done. By then the damage was worse – the surgeon had to reconstruct muscles and tendons around my ankle, the long slow recovery was, because of my ‘busyness’ going to be even longer and slower.

The lesson learnt may seem obvious but it’s so important to make time.Make time for getting things checked and sorted otherwise you a) waste even more time b) make things much harder for yourself and those around you and c) worst of all risk your health.

The same is true for so many things. We just don’t have time to….

• go for a run
• read a book
• go to the gym
• cook healthy meals
• meet a friend for lunch
• see relatives
• have a nap when we’re exhausted
• start a new hobby
• reflect on personal development
• go for a walk and, and, and……...

But we should.This is self-care and self-care is critical.

I was recently asked to comment on an article for Vitality headed ‘Self-Care beyond the bath bomb’. The article points out that self-care typically conjures up images of self-indulgence, spa days, candles around the bath, time locked away from reality etc., but that’s not what self-care is about. The NHS take self-care seriously but the angle differs quite significantly from the stereotype:

‘Self-care is about keeping fit and healthy, understanding when you can look after yourself, when a pharmacist can help, and when to get advice from your GP or another health professional. If you have a long-term condition, self-care is about understanding that condition and how to live with it.’ NHS England

This is much more about our overall health (which includes mental health) and points to exactly what I didn’t do. I didn’t make time.It’s a difficult shift because for our parents’ generation (assuming you’re my age) were led to believe that you just got on with things like ‘pulling yourself together’ if you’re depressed or struggling on without seeing the doctor if you’re ill. Today we know that it’s not a healthy approach but the ‘way of doing things’ has seeped into the way we see the world.

How often do you put off seeing the doctor, having your eyes tested or other personally important matter because you just don’t have time?But what would happen if for example you missed the indicators for cancer because you put off an appointment? It’s not just you who is impacted, it’s your family, friends, employer, colleagues. Especially if something that could be dealt with earlier on then becomes more serious and takes longer to recover from (my ankle is point in case) or worse still. We need to try and shake the JFDI attitude that we’ve been brought up and start to take care of ourselves.

What are you too busy to do?

• It could be helpful to write a list and then prioritise the things that really need to be dealt with.
• Commit to doing something on the list every day (starting with the most important to your physical and mental health) that you would normally say ‘I don’t have time to’ and do it for a week or two.

I’d love to hear what happens….

N.B. Whilst dispelling the myths of self-care your most important thing may well be having a bath with a bath bomb thrown in – if that’s what helps you to feel good.

I’d recommend adidas global ambassador Adreinne’s new podcast The Power Hour(and not just because I’m an upcoming guest but because she's awesome) where various busy people (e.g. Ella of Deliciously Ella) tell Adrienne how they make more time for the things that matter.

My book - Defining You available at Waterstones, WHSmiths and Foyles in the UK as well as amazon.co.uk. It's also available at amazon.com, amazon.ca amazon.com.au and in various bookstores in Canada (e.g. Indigo) and the USA and in other parts of the English speaking world. 

For more from me go to fionamurden.com  

Links:

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/power-hour/id1443615779?mt=2

https://magazine.vitality.co.uk/the-importance-of-self-care/

https://www.england.nhs.uk/blog/what-does-self-care-mean-and-how-can-it-help/