I was innocent.
Alex ?stergaard
Master your Mindset | Helping you gain clarity and confidence so you can stop doubting yourself and live a life that truly fulfils you. Self-Confidence & Inner-Freedom Coach ??
Have you ever been accused of something you didn’t do?
When I was 6 years old my Mum falsely accused me of eating the last packet of M&Ms.
I hadn’t done it.
But things weren't looking great for my defence.
She gave me one last shot to prove my innocence:
“Alex, look me straight in the eyes and tell me you’re not lying.“
I held her gaze for a few seconds…
Concentrating very hard. Don’t smile, don’t smile, don’t smile.
But then… I just burst out laughing.?
“Mum, it’s not that I’m lying, it’s just that I’m not very good at telling the truth.”
These were the wise words I chose to tell her.?
What I meant was: “I look guilty even when I’m telling the truth.”
What she heard was: “My son has a compulsive lying problem.“
My words were completely misinterpreted… and I lost that court case.
Recently though, I discovered that there are 4 levels of communication:
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That’s 4 levels of the telephone game where something can be completely misinterpreted.
So you might be trying to tell your partner that: You’re tired.?
But they might interpret it as: You don’t want to spend time with me.
Which could lead to an unnecessary argument.?
So how do you avoid this??
Well, one of the easiest ways is simply to be more curious.?
Ask questions like: “What did you hear me say?” or “This is what I’m hearing, is it correct?”
By being curious you avoid misinterpretations and a lot of unnecessary arguments.?
And you might even skip being sent to your room to think about what you’ve done.
Much love,
Alex
PS: What I’m reading: Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman
What I’m watching: Top Chef - France?
Quote of the week: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen Covey
Client Partner (Recruitment Consultant) at Ruella James - R2R (Recruitment to Recruitment)
1 年Are you still reading Shantaram? What a book!
Making high achieving men unstoppable. Welcome to The Peak Performance Project.
1 年Haha I must bear in mine that you don’t tell the truth very well Alex ?stergaard ???? Also yes people speak in code all the time mate.
Launch a 1-person business and ditch the corporate handcuffs.
1 年I like that: 'what did you hear me say?' DEF something worth trying, especially with your partner..
Partnering with business owners towards accelerated results via systems that allow them to future proof their business in any environment! | ??Strategist, Maestro, Catalyst, Shaper, Doer ?? Who’s your competition?
1 年Words are #powerful Alex especially with our self-talk and what we say and #believe with ourselves
Supporter of Talent and Marvel obsessed
1 年This really resonated with me Alex. Words can be powerful things and need to be chosen wisely. It's not easy to get right all of the time.